Rhode Island Wants to Charge You $20 to Watch Free Internet Porn

Free Internet porn is the great equalizer, providing even the shyest of horny browsers with easy access to classics like “SLURPING ALL THE NUT OUT.” Unfortunately, it appears the state of Rhode Island thinks your porn is too free, so legislators have introduced a bill that would require residents to pay $20 to access porn sites. RHODE ISLAND IS NO FUN.

According to NY Mag, Rhode Island state senators Frank Ciccone and Hanna Gallo just introduced a law that would require ISPs operating in the state to block sites that feature “sexual content” or are deemed “offensive.” The bill is allegedly an attempt to prevent people under the age of 18 from accessing adult content, but for those of age who’d like to enjoy all the sexual content the Internet has to offer, if the bill become law, they’d have to request (in writing!) that the digital block be lifted; prove via identification that they were over the age of 18; and fork over a onetime fee of $20 to the state.

Prospective porn watchers would also be subject to a written warning enumerating the dangers of making adult content accessible to teens (eh) and children (valid).

It’s not exactly clear what exactly constitutes “sexual content,” or if my repeated efforts to Google “young Harrison Ford” would trigger the block, and that vagueness would make the bill pretty difficult to enforce should it become law, since it’s not unheard of for the powers-that-be to unreasonably deem art and other cultural touchstones smut. Unfortunately, last year’s repeal of net neutrality could make it legal for ISPs to block websites and price-gouge in the future. So while Rhode Island’s bill might not make it this time around, we could see more of this kind of thing in the future.