The UK tabloid the Daily Mirror has a story up today about "real age" vs. "body age", by which they mean, how many years a person has added on (or taken off) because of his or her lifestyle choices. As examples, the Mirror uses big boozers like Amy Winehouse (real age, 23; body age, 31) and Britney Spears (real age, 25; body age, 30) as cautionary examples of how excess can age a person and celebs like Madonna (real age, 48; body age, 35) as examples of what good-living can do. The story also includes a helpful quiz so readers can figure out how soon to slash their wrists or not. After the jump, the Jezebels discover the awful truth about what smoking, boozing, sex-induced UTIs and sitting around on our asses blogging all day can do to our constitutions.

Anna: Real age: 34. Body age: 51.5. Reasons: Smoking, red wine, use of antibiotics.
Dodai: Real age: 35. Body age: 38 Reasons: Gin, soft-drinks.
Moe: Real Age: 28. Body age: 33.5 Reasons: Cigarettes and beer. Also: "I used to get exercise and brush my teeth more often and not even really smoke and I moved to the Lower East Side for this job, which explains all the infections."
Slut Machine: Real Age: 28, Body Age: 36.5 Reasons: Alcohol. Also: "The antibiotics from my UTIs put me over the top." (Spoken like a true slut!)
Jennifer: Real age: 23. Body age: 19. Reason: She's perfect.


So to recap: Anna is Amy Winehouse, Dodai, Moe & Slut Machine are Britney Spears, and Jennifer is an android from Planet Overachiever or something. Also, you don't even want to see her skin.

What's Your Body Age? [Mirror]