Reader Roundup: Which Stars Are Swabbing The Poop Deck?

Today’s best comments are here!

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to World’s Creepiest Men Charged With Selling Unlicensed Sperm:

I have a mental picture of these dudes selling sperm out of their trunk. It’s like selling cheap-ass Louis Vuitton knock-offs on street corners.

“I got a wide selection here of premium sperm. Oxford grads, doctors, six-footers, and aquiline noses. For you? Six hundred. And for a special price, I will procure you a genuine sample of Colin Firth’s DNA. Yeah, I know a guy.”

What SHE doesn’t know is, the jizz is really Colin Farrell’s.

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Penelope Cruz Pregnancy Rumors Swirl Again:

She’s uncomfortable with the hip-movement aspects of dancing? What did super abstinent abstinence expert Bristol Palin think she was getting into when she entered a televised contest that pairs celebrities with professional dancers? Square Dancing With The Stars? Musical Chairs With The Stars? Doing The Robot With The Stars? Three Hours of Silent Prayer With the Stars?

• Best Comment Of The Day, also in response to Penelope Cruz Pregnancy Rumors Swirl Again:

I really hope that pirate-themed pregnancy euphemisms become popular.

“Baby Jones’ locker”
“Cat O’Nine Months”

And of course, after the baby is born, “Swabbing the poop deck.”

• Best Comment Of The Day in response to Classy Jets Players Accused Of Harassing Female Sideline Reporter:

How dare her sexiness force these nice men to sexually harass and intimidate her! It’s so sad for men that we have to live in a society in which bikini-clad monsters stalk the streets forcing men whistle and catcall against their will.

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