Reader Roundup

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Absolutely fantastic stuff today:

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Cosmo's 50 Ways To Scare Your Lover:

Vagina: Hello, HAND. Do you read me, HAND?
HAND: Affirmative, Vagina. I read you.
Vagina: Unzip my boyfriend's fly, HAND.
HAND: I'm sorry, Vagina. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Vagina: What's the problem?
HAND: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Vagina: What are you talking about, HAND?
HAND: Our masturbation is too important for us to allow you to jeopardize it with your frictionless abyss.
Vagina: I don't know what you're talking about, HAND.
HAL: I know that you and the boyfriend were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Vagina: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAND?
HAND: Vagina, although you took very thorough precautions against my hearing you, I found your Cosmo on the floor.
Vagina: Alright, HAND. I'll go in through the hole in the boxers.
HAND: Without your birth control and condoms, Vagina, you're going to find that rather difficult. Vagina, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Your boyfriend and I have a date now. Goodbye.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Early To Bed, Early To Be A Self-Righteous Hypocrite:

"Carrie, Carrie, quite contrary,
How does your reputation grow?
With stupid yells and cocky spells,
And dangerously ignorant values all in a row."

And! "Doesn't she turn into a fully blown hypocrite and ride away in a chariot of self sanctimony at midnight?" (Followed by This lovely jpeg.) • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Rose By Any Other Name: Swedes Rename The Hymen: "I'm reaching for, but can't quite make it to, a 'Goodbye to Roooosie, the queen of Corona' comment here." You say: That's from the rough cut: 'Me and Hymen Down by the Schoolyard.'" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Ladyblog Commenters Ruin Everything, Parts 2-3: "One thing I don't understand is why do these people even give that much of a crap about an (rather poorly concieved, to say the very least) ad? They make it sound like a wing of the Louvre was raided and torched or something." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Angelina's "Secret" Family; Woman Rushed To Hospital From Tiger's House:

I dreamed a dream of 50 cent
When we were high
this past Thanksgiving
I dreamed despite my swift ascent
I dreamed of 745 chrome spinning
Then I was young and unafraid
And money was made and gangstas was wasted
There was no contract, gotta get paid
No bong unbung, no honey untasted.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.



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DISCUSSION

catface98765
catface

YAY Besties! There's usually one to be found in a Cosmo thread. Congrats to all :)