Angry he'll never have the chance to tweak the nipples of France, Dominique Strauss-Kahn has filed a $1 million lawsuit against Nafissatou Diallo, claiming the hotel maid deliberately sabotaged his chance at the French Presidency when she accused the former IMF head of attempting to rape her in a Manhattan hotel room last year.

The internationally renowned creep claims in the suit that he was "considered by some" to be the next President of France. That title went to socialist Francois Hollande instead.

Additionally, Strauss-Kahn says he was subjected to a "humiliating" strip search, a "penal" (he meant "penile," but the pun sort of works, so let's go with that) swab, and a staged perp walk for the international press.

Diallo has her own civil suit pending against Strauss-Kahn.


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