Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials

"In the age of knowing what you're made of, there's no room for erectile dysfunction," says Viagra, who claims that their most recent batch of commercials show men "engaging in daily activities without letting anything get in their way." Right: they don't let anything get in their way of BEING HOT.

Advertisement

The nearly identical commercials were cast with nearly identical dudes. But though they are nearly identical, some are clearly hotter than others. Below, a ranking.

9. Random Dudes Jogging, Surfing, Being a Cowboy and Hiking

Your appearances are too brief for us to really know about you. Come back again so we can decide if you are going to use that bionic penis for good or evil.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

8. The Dudes Who Have Viagra Delivered Straight to Them at Home

Did you know you can have Viagra delivered straight to you at your home?

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

That's the home that you fuck your wife in, btw.

7. The Dude Who Builds Bridges

This man will build you a bridge to somewhere.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials

It's dark out while he's building that bridge, so it's kind of hard to see his face.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

There it is!

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

His wife/partner is into this face.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

*beep beep* [Car unlocks] "Honey, I'm coming home!"

6. The Dude Who Sails Boats Alone

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Look at this Calm Dude, who is out for a sail alone, just feeling the wind on his face.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

You are the boat and Calm Sailor knows how to reach into your hull and Get Things Done.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Things might even get a little ~frisky~ on the way there.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

But he's still Calm.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Good with his hands.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Good at staring at the sea.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Good at following the North Star via the Good Ship Viagra home.

5. The Dude Who Fishes

This Dude doesn't just fish – he fishes for a living.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

While on his fishing boat, he fixes things that go awry.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

In between fixing things, he stares at the sea.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

All is well there, because of him.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Now that all is well on the boat at sea, Fishing Man can return home.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

His wife and their station wagon are very glad to see him.

4. The Dude Who Knows Horses

Horse man wears a cowboy hat.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials

He is strong, silent and knows his horses.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Very silent.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Maybe not so silent at his happy home though...

3. The Dude Who Fixes Cars

This man has a nice car and is going for a nice drive.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Unfortunately, his nice car is also an old car, which means that sometimes, it gets into a spot of trouble.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

That's just life, you know.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

[Raises arms]

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Car man has a secret trick to fix his overheated engine though: water, the magic elixir of life.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Now he's back on the road.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

Home is but a brief ride away.

2. The Dude Who Is a White Collar Factory Man

At first, this Dude seems like just a regular Dude.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials

Then it becomes clear that he is Going Places. UP places.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

To his private, glassed-in office, more specifically.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

He's done with a nice day of work, which means he gets to attend to the :-) texts he gets from his ladyfriend.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

All work and no play makes Factory Dude a dull boy.

1. A Dude Who Can Make Fire

Once upon a time, man could not make fire.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

We're not talking about back in the day; no, this is recently. You see, man's trusty man-made lighter was failing him. He found he had to rely on his own hands.

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

[Pauses]

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

[Blows on fire to get it burning]

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

[Blows some more]

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

[Pauses]

Illustration for article titled Ranking the Hot, Mostly Middle-Aged White Dudes in Viagra Commercials
Advertisement

He looks off into the distance and sees his fire glowing, plus the shadow of his love in a tent. Is there going to be a fire in the tent tonight?

Yes.

Images via Viagra

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

achr0i
adultosaur married anna on the astral plane

why is it so green, like there's about to be a storm or a murder?