Quit Your Job Because Will and Kate Need a New Housekeeper

Looking to make a job change? Seeking a position that would enable you to spend more time in the bucolic English countryside? Keen on picking up after royal offspring and also royal canine companions? Have we got the opening for you!

People reports that Will & Kate ™ are currently seeking a housekeeper for Anmer Hall, their Norfolk country home. It’s a mere ten bedrooms, so I’m sure you could pick the basics up quickly. They placed an ad in The Lady, a perfectly named British magazine that runs its very own “domestic recruitment service” because it’s SO hard to find good help these days:

Housekeeper sought for a large family home in Norfolk. We are looking for someone with previous housekeeping experience, ideally within a large private house, and preferably within a family environment with dogs.

Main duties will include: cleaning all areas of the house to a high standard; caring for and maintaining the home owners’ clothing; cleaning silverware and glassware; purchasing groceries and general provisions for the house; and dealing with deliveries. On occasions, the role will also involve the preparation of meals, assisting with childcare and caring for dogs.

You could be the keeper of Kate Middleton’s wardrobe! That’s practically the same thing as appearing international best-dressed lists! (As long as you are superhumanly immune to envy, of course.)

The ad notes that, “Discretion and loyalty is paramount.” So apply only if you enjoying knowing embarrassing shit about famous people and not telling a single living soul, lest you be fed to the corgis.