Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?

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Of all the embarrassing stuff that can happen during sex — urine leaks, unwelcome fingers in intimate places, saying the wrong person's name — queefing is right up there at the top of the list. It might be even more taboo than farting. But you know what? That's only because it's something that guys can't do, so they're freaked out by it, which in turn makes us women feel weirder about it. Dudes, on the other hand, find farts hilarious (and so do I, to be fair). But really, besides the fact that it can sound really funny, there's nothing gross about a queef. It's just an emission of air from the vadge that "does not involve waste gases and thus often has no specific odor associated," according to the Wikipedia page about "vaginal flatulence." (BTW, how much do you love that there's a Wikipedia entry about it!? Check out the discussion page that involves "odor edits.") Anyway, so here's the question: when a woman accidentally lets loose, what's the best way for playing it off without losing any of the sexy?


I don't know about anyone else, but I find that I queef most often when I'm switching up positions a lot during sex, especially if I go from an extended period of doggy to missionary. Through experience gained, I can usually feel when it's gonna happen, and I try to do this a sort of scoot/twitch/hip switch thing to try and get the air out of there relatively inaudibly before the dude has a chance to dip his dick back in.

But sometimes there's nothing that can be done about it, and I can't get control of it, and it's unstoppable and seemingly goes on forever. And then when I think it's stopped, some more squeaks out. I know in my head that it's stupid to be embarrassed about it, but when you're fucking someone for the first time, and your vagina is performing a symphony, it's kinda hard to not cringe with your whole being.

One time it happened but the guy was a really good sport about it, so much so that he then pushed down on my abdomen, and more came out, and so on, until he laughed so hard that he farted. That was great, actually. I should get back in touch with him.

But yes, laughing is really the best way to deal. Because if you try to ignore it, it just gets weird. At least for me, and then I lose my concentration and I can't come. And you never want to let manners come in the way of your orgasm.



@Scal: uuuuh, yes. It means "fitting; at the right time; to the purpose; opportunely." And it was opportune/ fitting/ at the right time/ APROPOS that I laughed so hard that I farted." Also, I thought the "poo" joke was funny, but that's just me.

"This made me laugh so hard that I actually farted, how apropoos."