Project Runway: "If I Were A Diva, I Would Be Named Ferosh!"

Illustration for article titled Project Runway: "If I Were A Diva, I Would Be Named Ferosh!"

The Greatest Show on Earth really delivered the crazy this week. The challenge? Design an avant-garde look based on the model's hair. Oh, and do it in teams. And by the way? Not one look, but two: The second being a ready-to-wear ensemble that translates an cuckoo avant-garde concoction into something real people might actually wear. Anyway, the pairing of Chris March and Christian was worrisome at first, but then the duo proved unstoppable. (That's their "avant-garde" look, left.) Even Tim Gunn referred to them as "Team Fierce." Chris and Christian were like Beauty and the Beast: In fact, I think it took Chris's warm, loving nature to soften the solipsistic monstrosity that is Christian into an actual functioning designer. Why I suspect that Chris March can bring out the goodness in even the skankiest of souls, why I wanted to bitch-slap Rami, and more (including spoilers) after the jump.


Words I never thought I would say: I was thrilled that Christian won. I was so charmed by his work this week that I was able to keep myself from throwing things at my TV when he proclaimed in the workroom, "If I were a diva, my name would be FEROSH!" — yes, as in ferocious. Sigh. The avant-garde look that he and Chris designed was on a whole other level than anything any of the other designers had conceived: It was sophisticated and directional and creative and artistic and beautifully constructed. Chris and Christian should go into business together; Chris's background in costume design brings the imagination and playfulness that Christian's couture-aspiring looks so desperately need. Michael Kors was rendered speechless for once, which is just about the highest compliment you can get on this show. I agree with Tim Gunn (note to self: always agree with Tim Gunn) that their r-t-w look was sorta cheap-looking, but I'll excuse it just this once.

Rami was grouchy this week. He could barely hide his disdain at being paired with Sweet P, and did even less to conceal the look on his face that screamed "Oh By The Way: I Think You're An Idiot And Have Bad Taste To Boot" every time the poor woman opened her mouth. Sweet P, who could give Ricky a run for his money when it comes to turning on the waterworks, was so distressed and weepy that even her model tried to console her. Fortunately, no bad deed was left unpunished and Rami found himself in the bottom two, as the judges questioned his bad attitude, his taste level, and his ability to do anything other than drape. They also gave major props to the r-t-w look — designed and constructed by Sweet P. I was happy to see the possibly-bipolar chick get some positive feedback.

The other look in the top two this week was designed by Jillian and Victorya. I'm not gonna lie, I was worried, 'cause they both have an "I'm more sophisticated than you" air and they're both slow at construction. But the girlies pulled through (even if, whoops, they didn't have their r-t-w look ready until the morning of the runway show) and made a crazy fierce jacket straight out of The Matrix and twisted jockey pants, detailed with unexpected tartan (they also used the plaid in their ready-to-wear look, a black dress both punky and lady-like). Victorya took the leadership credit, but lovely, overly-medicated genius Jillian was really the mastermind. Nina Garcia looked like she was going to orgasm, she was so into both of these looks, only lending more evidence to my suspicion that Nina is really into S&M.


Last but not least? Our losers, Ricky and Kit. The duo made a poor man's Scarlett O'Hara dress, complete with hoop skirt. It was ridiculous. So was their r-t-w look: Lolita on foodstamps. (And not in a good way.) In the end, the judges sent Kit home and not Ricky, and the fact that Ricky's around for one more week, makes me want to Auf myself.



I'm so over Rami — I was on pins and needles about what his design might be — gosh, do you think the couture outfit might involve some kind of *draping* over *one shoulder*? That'd be SO FUCKING ORIGINAL OF HIM.

That + Massive Jerkiness = HATE.

Ricky NEEDS to go. He's been so lucky, it's crazy. I fear his luck will hold, and he'll bumble, sobbing, into the top 3 to produce the saddest line of K-Mart reject clothes ever to shamble down the runway.