Project Runway Finale: I Remind You That Victoria Motherfucking Beckham Is Here

Illustration for article titled Project Runway Finale: I Remind You That Victoria Motherfucking Beckham Is Here

Yup, it's the night we've been waiting for: By 11 p.m. we'll all know who won Project Runway season 4. And I don't know about you, but I've been a wreck ever since I saw the final collection in Bryant Park but a mere 4 weeks ago, replaying them over and over again in my minding, tormenting who will be in, and who will be out. Will Rami make all Christian Palestinians from Jerusalem proud of his draping abilities? Will Christian utilize the secret powers of Ferocia Coutura to pull the hair and blind his competition with his pageant of puffy sleeves? Will Jillian's monotonous Long Island accent seduce the judges like a siren song? Jesus Christ, I can't take the questions anymore! Thank God the finale (with special guest judge Victoria Motherfucking Beckham!!!!)


10:58: Awwwww: Tim is gonna cry. I think Tim really does feel very close to Christian. This is the sweetest, most genuine winning ever.

10:57: I am gonna cry! This is so sweet and heartfelt.

10:56: Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami. Don't let it be Rami.


Aw, and Rami is being so sweet and gracious. Holy fucking shit, did I just see tears in Posh's eyes????

10:54: Ugh, why is Heidi again going on about Rami?!

Jillian is OUT. That's sad. I am heartbroken that they think RAMI is better than JILLIAN.

10:53: Okay, and we're back from commercial. I am sweating bullets. Seriously.

Ed note: Hey guys, it's Jen, not Jess, who is live-blogging.

10:49: Oooooh but Nina thinks Rami has a bad sense of color! Interesting!

Ahhhhhh! It's time!

10:48: Nina is such a hater when it comes to Jillian. I wonder if Nina just hates women. But Nina's in love with Christian. And so is Posh, but we all knew that. Thank God Kors is there, the voice of reason.


Kors called Rami cerebral?! I take it back about him being the voice of reason.

10:47: Heidi loved Rami? If he wins, I cry. And not tears of joy.

If he wins, it will be even worse than when Chloe won over Daniel in season 2. UNACCEPTABLE.

DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME JUDGES. Jesus, do they have anything mean to say to Rami????


I like how Posh's accent is sorta hick. Ha.

10:46: Oooh Kors said looks monotonous?! And Nina agrees?! Whoah.

I did not see this coming. Why I love Posh: It was monotonous, but it was my style, so I was ok with that.

Um, that's fucking brilliant.


10:44: Ooh — good for Heidi for commending Jillian for trying new shapes.

Oy, Nina's the only judge who didn't like. But I do agree with Nina and Michael, Jillian is the queen of knitwear.

10:43: I like how they all say "Bravo," echoing the name of the channel on which they air.


Totes obvious that Jillian stuck with inspiration from Met challenge. Ooh Posh liked it! I swear I get excited just hearing Victoria speak.

10:42: Wow — Nina seems genuinely impressed. I worked with her. I don't think she could fake it if she actually wasn't impressed. (Which is a strength, I think.)


10:41: I love how Heidi always puts things in a question: "How amazing was the show?"

10:38: Uh, Elizabeth Berkley is hosting some pole-dancing competition reality show? She can't be serious.


10:37: Jay McCarroll thinks Rami's going to win? Um, this is why Jay's career has gone nowhere. Oy, so does Uncle Nick?! What is wrong with them???

10:36: Posh is eating this up. She's like a pig in shit. She and Christian should collaborate together.


10:35: His collection is amazing. And I can totally see Posh in all of it. He may do the same thing over and over again (puffy sleeve jacket, skinny pants), but he does it really well. I wonder why he never got called out for that...

Ugh this pants with zipper crotch are bad though. And how come they never call his stuff costume-y?

It's not exactly, ahem, "street" wear.


10:34: Aw, Christian is so cute and casual. And that was sorta cute how he said to the crowd "everybody looks fierce". Shameless plug: The music for Christian's show is by friend-of-Jezebel Brad Walsh!

10:32: Rami's collection looks so, so bad on TV. His family looks proud though. And that gold dress is amazing. But the separates are rubbish. That man from Jerusalem can only do eveningwear. He's this season's Austin Scarlett.


10:30:Rami's little speech about celebrating women is just as dumb this time around.

And so is his collection. It looks dated and weird. Don't like.

10:25: And seriously, I wouldn't wear that ruffled miniskirt, but I would wear almost everything else.And the insane hats are, well, sorta insane. But also sorta awesome. It's so much fun seeing this again! I love her evening look, with the corset. Want.


10:24: Aw Jillian: Love her little sweater dress. Seeing her collection on TV, I feel you get a more nouveau Ralph/Perry Ellis sensibility. I think she really has what it takes to be the new face of American sportswear.

10:23: Heidi is so cute and...babbly Her Kate Moss haircut is so hot.

10:22:And yet, he still finds time to hairspray his hair one last time.

Sigh. This is why I've grown to love him. When the going gets tough, use more hairspray. It's all so....Steel Magnolias.


10:21: Holy shit — two missing models for Christian. How is he staying so calm when two of his models haven't shown? They would be scraping me off the floor. Hell, my heart is racing just watching it.

10:20: The way Rami styled his models' hair is FUG. What the fuck is up with that weird braid twisting round their skulls? Egads, as Tim would say.


10:19: Haha, the camera just showed the seat I sat in. Empty, mind you, but my seat.

10:18: Tim just said they are an inspiration to him. Life goal: Be an inspiration to Tim Gunn.


If Jillian's curling iron and Christian's flat iron had a battle, who would win? Discuss.

10:17: One last "gather round" with Tim. I might cry. I think Tim is going to cry! If Tim cries, I will bawl.


10:16: Jillian is ensuring her models' hair gets curled — she really is going to style them like herself. Um, does Jillian realized she sounds a little racist? Saying how she's going to have to learn to accept diversity? That ain't good. This breaks my heart because I was pulling for her. And I might have to root for Ferocia Coutura.

10:13: Um, how cute is Uncle Nick from Season 2 in his Saturn commercial? Just saying. Jillian has gone off the deep end. She is like Norman Bates as his mom at the end of Psycho, the way she's talking to herself.


Whoah! Rami just turned on his hag Jillian! He called her annoying! No he didn't!!!

10:09: Jillian is _seriously_ having a meltdown. Maybe this is Ferocia Coutura's real power: Rendering other designers unable to successfully cast a runway show?


10:08: Oh God: That is so Christian — "It's not about comfort, ladies!" I think Christian wants to torture women. And by torture I mean....make them look like him. But snaps for his confession that he wore the heels he got for his models around his apartment.

10:07: I am worried about Jillian: If she can't handle the sight of two models in the same room how will she ever go on to, y'know, have a career? And, um, function in society?

10:05: Christian wants "dark-skinned girls." Is he trying to end the white out??? God bless that little fashion imp! Also, love that he continues to style his models to look like himself. For that matter, Jillian is doing that to her models too.


10:04; Ooh: Fighting during model casting?! I can only hope.

10:03: Tim is oddly silent with Christian. Christian is nervous. I am nervous.

10:02: Tim just hated on that crazy stripe-y sweater with pom-pom sleeves that I loved so much at the runway show. OH MY GOD — does Tim think I have bad taste? If so, I can't live with myself. And Tim likes Rami's collection? God is dead.


10:01: I love that Jillian asked Christian and Rami to approve her hair. That was cute; it's why I love Jillian. Ha — Rami thinks Christian looks afraid. As if! Christian ain't afraid of no one! He's Ferocia Coutura, bitches!


That was the sweetest finale yet. I loved it. I love that show so much, even when it pisses me off and the producers make bad recommendations. Even when I completely disagree on who is doing the coolest stuff.

The whole thing between Posh and Christian was like a fashion children's book, a couture fairy tale come true: there he is during dressing saying he'd love for her to wear his designs, and she immediately recognises how he's tapped into her vibe. When she told him she wanted to work with him, I thought his sweet little heart would just burst.

And those tears of fear just before they announced! It was rending to see his cockiness taken down so far, but the payoff when they called his name and he got his swagger back was pure joy.

Ach! Best season ever for the actual fashion, but I still miss Andre and Santino.