Princes William and Harry Reportedly Bearing Down on America

Heads up, Royals watchers: Princes William and (more importantly for the single ladies) Harry will very likely be in Memphis, Tennessee this weekend, attending the wedding of a friend.

According to WREG, their longtime pal Guy Pelly (a baby-faced London nightclub owner) is marrying Holiday Inn heiress and native daughter of Memphis Elizabeth Wilson on Saturday at the Memphis Polo Club, in an event sure to strain even the princes’ grasp of protocol. (Because Southerners.)

Now, this being a personal rather than state matter, no one will actually confirm the princes’ attendance. The city’s mayor says they’re proceeding under the assumption that there will be royals in the house: “We are taking all precautions to be prepared.”

The Mirror reports that William will fly in for just two days, and a “source” says both boys have been warned to behave, no Beale Street shenanigans: “The Palace have warned them in no uncertain terms they need to ‘slip in and out without embarrassment.'” That’s despite their long history of antics in the presence of Pelly. However, I would like to note that leaves plenty of time and leeway for a brief visit to Graceland, and in fact guests will reportedly get a chance to tour the landmark.

Please, God, give us paparazzi photos of the future king of England at Graceland. Photos of Prince Harry in the Jungle Room would also be very much appreciated. If we could get photos of Prince Harry naked in the Jungle Room, that would be extra lovely, thank you very much, amen.

In perhaps the most creative wedding cry-off in modern history, Kate declined because, well, she didn’t want to cause a ruckus:

His wife, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, was reportedly invited to the nuptials as well but declined to attend so as not to cause a “global media circus.”

The only thing tackier than wearing a bridal-ish gown to someone else’s wedding is being Kate Middleton at someone else’s wedding.