Posh 'N Becks In 'W': A Fag And His Hag

Illustration for article titled Posh N Becks In W: A Fag And His Hag

The Beckhams: So thin! So blonde! So bedazzled! And they are all this and more, oh yes, as they grace the cover of W magazine this month. Really, we didn't even know where to begin in deconstructing the phenomenon that is Brand Beckham. Lucky for us, (the amazingly named) Dorothy Parker over at Media Post's Magazine Rack did with her glorious review of the entire experience. Her most keen observation? Calling attention to this gem of a quote from David Beckham:

Of his "loveable metrosexual qualities," as the writer puts it — in England he's known as "The Prince of Ponce," he says: "I've always had a liking towards clothes, but when I met Victoria, she directed me in the right way. When she tells me something doesn't look good, I believe her. We have a connection that way."

Wow. Profound! So overwhelmed were we by the images of Victoria grabbing herself and David grabbing Victoria (anyone else feel like they were watching a little Othello-suffocating-Desdemona action in those bed shots?) that we might have passed over the accompanying text altogether. And in turn missed out on this most important life lesson on how to choose a mate! Note to self: When looking for husband, make sure he totally loves clothes and wants to talk about them all the time. Oh wait! We've already met this man! Several times, actually. We call him 'our gay'.

W [Magazine Rack]

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I guess I'm the Becks and my boyfriend is the Posh in our relationship. I've always wanted to dress well, but I could never quite get it until my boyfriend came along and started saying "Here, this looks good on you, you should buy this." It's a relationship of convenience, really.