Pornhub Wants You to Come for Christmas With This Ice-Glazed Single

Have you been a naughty girl? Have you been a nice girl? These are the questions that Pornhub, several porn actresses and a metric fuckton of autotune have for you. I don’t know what exactly naughty girls are getting from Santa, but this teaser is suggesting it isn’t coal. (Unless by coal you mean ginormous dicks, then yes, coal, and also sign me up for ten.)

The complete video for “Coming for Christmas” isn’t out yet — the clip above is just a teaser — but the entire thing is a stunt to put Pornhub at number one on the holiday charts. And with all the money they make there (they’ve got to make money, right?) I can’t imagine why they couldn’t have hired a near-professional to do the songwriting or just put a new spin on a perennial favorite. I mean think of the possibilities: Jizzing in a Winter Wonderland; Hark, the Herald Angels Ejaculate Heartily onto the Face of the Young Man in The Center; I Saw Mommy Doing it Doggy Style With Santa Extreme Full-Length Video Don’t Miss This One HD ONLY.