Poor Robert Stewart. He was just minding his own business, fucking his 16-year-old bicycle in the privacy of his hostel room, when two cleaning women walked in and called the cops. Stewart said that alcohol drove him to bike-banging, and his lawyer called him a "sad little man" Aw. Robert was sentenced to a "sexual breach of the peace" and is on probation for the next 3 years. [Telegraph]


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