Poor, beleaguered German polar bear Knut. He was rejected by his mother when he was born, and now zoologists are describing him as a "psychopath." According to the Independent, Knut is "disconcerting" close up because of his "filthy brownish grey colour," and Dr. Peter Arras, who called Knut a nutbag, says "Knut won't manage anything with a female bear, I guarantee that." Whatever, who needs offspring when you've got a Vanity Fair cover? [Independent]