In totally amazing HOLY SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE OUR NATION’S POLICE DEPARTMENTS news, Oakland, CA’s police chief Howard Jordan is facing legal action that could cost him his job. Why? Well, because he was filtering emails containing phrases like ‘police brutality’ and ‘stop the excessive police force,’ straight to the trash folder. See, what normal people do with LinkedIn updates and Romney for America forwards from clueless family members, Jordan did with urgent emails from a public he’s supposed to serve.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Because of those filters, Jordan missed e-mails from other city officials and a federal court monitor, who oversees the department’s compliance with court-ordered reforms stemming from a police abuse scandal.

Robert Warshaw, the monitor, had sent Jordan an e-mail with the subject line “Disciplinary Actions-Occupy Oakland.” Jordan told the court on Oct. 18 that he never saw those e-mails, infuriating Thelton Henderson, the federal judge in San Francisco who appointed Warshaw.

Henderson will hear arguments in December about whether to place the Police Department into the hands of a federal receiver, which Oakland officials believe is unprecedented. Henderson was perplexed as to why Jordan could be missing such vital messages and on Oct. 18 ordered the city to investigate.


You’d think this is something they would’ve talked about on the phone before launching an investigation. Like, Warshaw would’ve call the police chief and been like, “Are you getting my extremely critical emails?” and then Jordan would be lie through his teeth, “No, my email’s acting strange [Ed.: “being funny” or “weirding out” would’ve also been acceptable!], let me look into it.” Then he’d haul ass and delete said filters and then ask Warshaw to send the stuff again. Right? Isn’t that how things work in real life? IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE O.P.D. IS EVEN MORE FUCKED UP THAN THE AVERAGE IDIOT WHEN IT COMES TO EMAIL?

Don’t answer that.

—Laura Beck