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Please Join Me in Dying Instantly

Illustration for article titled Please Join Me in Dying Instantly
Screenshot: Abriel Arnel/Fox 35

Crabs are gross and walk in a scary way. They should remain in the sea until they die and descend to hell. But these crabs in Florida left the sea and overtook what appears to be a suburb of some kind, and so I must die instead:


Local news affiliate Fox 35 reports that these are “blue land crabs” and that their “mating and female migrating season runs until December, peaking in October and November.”

Fuck off, monsters!

Senior editor, Jezebel

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I just googled it and these crabs are edible. If that was my neighborhood I would put water on to boil and be scooping them up (or trying to) as fast as I could