Look! It's the red band trailer for Piranha 3DD, which is funny because it's like 3D but also like ladies' bewbz. GET IT? Because apparently watching nude idiot-ladies bleed to death after getting chomped by carnivorous (magic?) fish is a premise hilarious and boner-inducing enough to justify four feature films (Piranha, Piranha II: The Spawning, Piranha 3D, and now this guy). To be fair, though, I am being unfair. Piranha 3DD is a "horror comedy," and from the trailer seems to temper its lady-chomping exploitation with enough goofy self-awareness to make it at least ALLOWABLE. Sample dialogue: "Tell me you did not replace our old life guards with strippers." "Water certified strippers!" I laughed. I did.

The film has a weirdly medium-high-profile cast, including Gary Busey, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, David Koechner (a.k.a. big Paul Scheer), bewbz, a girl I totally recognize from Law and Order: SVU, David Hasselhoff (as "THE MOST FAMOUS LIFE GUARD OF ALL TIME"), a strange creature that is EITHER Christopher Lloyd OR googly eyes stuck on a ham, and BEWBZ. Oh, and also it looks like there's a part where Cerie from 30 Rock gets a piranha stuck up her vagina that goes dentata all over her boyfriend's johnson. Woooooo! Equality! It's not just ladies' genitals getting eaten by fish anymore! GIRL POWER AND STUFF.


NSFW, obv. Because bewbz.