Pimp My Vadge: The Pornographer's Opinion

Sometime around the year 2002 plastic surgery started getting ridiculous. As if there wasn't enough pressure on women to look like hairless, hipless eunuchs with breasts, we started seeing advertisements in the back of our favorite magazines touting a new procedure called "vaginoplasty". Often, these ads touted something called "labiaplasty" in their copy as well — and it didn't take master Sudoku skills to figure out what that meant. For the third — and for now last — installment of our "Pimp My Vadge" series, Slut Machine (link NSFW) visited with a pornographer acquaintance to get his take on the whole designer vagina phenomenon... as well as her own privates. Click play to hear the audio from her visit, then read her reactions after the jump.

For my final consultation, I decided to go to a different kind of professional who makes a living off of looking at vaginas: A pornographer. I sat down with Mitch Fontaine, co-CEO of Burning Angel, showed him my vadge and asked him what he thought. He has an interesting theory about labia that I'd never heard before at all. According to Mitch, no vaginas look alike—nor should they—but most can be categorized into at least four different classifications, as far as physical description goes.


I can honestly say that I trusted the opinion of a smut peddler more than the doctors I visited. I mean, just like with the gynos, it was no big whoop for Mitch to look at my privates, as he's probably seen more pussy than the toilets of the ladies' room at a lesbian bar. However, because he's not all clinical and stuff, and because the nature of what he does his sexual, he seemed to remember that there was a woman attached to my vagina.

From what I can tell from all of this (and from <a href="http://www.centerforvaginalsurgery.com/nyclabiaplasty/labiaplastypictures.htm this NSFW link), the aim is to

surgically "correct" womens' labia to look one specific way. But, like, if "designer vaginas" all look the same, doesn't that make them generic? And if so, doesn't that technically make them designer impostors?


Earlier: Pimp My Vadge: A Woman's Opinion

Pimp My Vadge

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I saw this book once - images of the yoni, or something. Can't remember the title, but if you're looking for vaginal variety, it's out there.

There were at least a hundred distinctly different "styles" - some that (much as I love women and worship the vagina in theory) were sort of horrifying.

But maybe that's just cause I'm used to my own.