- Iran photoshopped an extra missile in this picture of that "sabre rattling" crap we wrote about last night. Leave it to our brother site Gizmodo to mentally "prepare" us for this profoundly depressing evidence of propaganda. [NYT]
- Speaking of, I had totally forgotten I made up the whole "Photoshop of Horrors" pun until this awesomeness. [Vanity Fair]
- Does John McCain use Viagra? There are some bad jokes to be made, like about the image I just had of him getting PTSD the one time he switched to Cialis, but the truth are there are many different ways you can address these delicate issues and one of them, according to my aunt Bridget, is watermelon juice. [CNN]
- According to some interview with some person from the Hills on some Sirius channel Heidi Montag is going to record a Christian album. I'm sure Jesus is so flattered. [E!]
- This diplomat used his awesome visa awarding powers to get sex, although he claims he didn't, and anyway, his defense is this indefensibly cultural relativist point of view that is actually pretty common when you get out of this country, and I think I'll blog about it tomorrow, but if you live somewhere (like say Southeast Asia) that a lot of desperate youngs have sex with older (especially expat) men and everyone is A-Ok with that, you know how to reach me. [USA Today]
- Necrophilia was just outlawed in Wisconsin. This came as a surprise to me, since necrophilia was always against the law at the phone sex call center I worked at this one time, even though phone sex was duh a fantasy especially since duh DUH you can't have phone sex with dead people. To be honest, I don't know who's really that into necrophilia, it wasn't like foot licking or chair tying or sodomizing your teenage daughter's boyfriend on the stairwell or any of the other fantasies I got a lot, but maybe the two state Supreme Court justices who voted against the ban know something those guys didn't. [Chicago Tribune]
Wait! Guys, I figured it out! Heidi Montag is one of the horsemen of the apocolypse! So she has to record her Christian album, so that she can bring about the End of Days.
And, clearly, Spencer is some sort of illegitimate son of the Devil. It explains the ever-present sociopathic glint in his eyes, and the "illegitimate" part explains why he's got such a huge fucking chip on his shoulder(penis).