Listen, last night’s debate was absolutely fucking terrible and has served only to make me feel bad in my bones and in my spirit. However, I have a proposition that might make things a little better: give Cardi B a shot at political punditry the next time around.
As Chris Wallace let Donald Trump run a verbal train on his ass during last night’s debates, my favorite political commentator, Cardi B, hopped on Instagram and showed just how much of an informed voter she is by providing commentary and real-time fact checking—like Twitter, but not a cesspit of Chappy Trappy assholes making funnies for clout.
Here she is fact-checking Trump when he denied that Kellyanne Conway said that her boss would benefit politically from further violence and unrest. “The more chaos and anarchy and vandalism and violence reigns, the better it is for the very clear choice on who’s best on public safety and law and order,” Conway said. She said this on Fox and Friends, the big baby’s favorite program. She said it!! It’s there! On the tape!
If MSNBC or any of the other news networks don’t want to let Cardi do her shit on television, I’m fine to seek it out on Instagram. However, I think it might be nice to inject a little fun into the grim and depressing graveyard that is the cable news after-show. Sure, I love watching Van Jones shake his head and say, essentially, that we are fucked, and it’s nice to hear Dana Bash say that the debate was a shitshow, but I also already know all of this. Some levity, please—we’ve already hit the iceberg, and it’s a long way to the bottom. [Instagram]
Changing my tack just a nibble, please don’t ever let Kylie Jenner do anything in the political sphere EXCEPT for what she did yesterday, which appeared to move a needle, somehow, some way.
The caption to this picture, which I hesitate to call a “thirst trap” because at this point, I am more familiar with the Kardashian-Jenner’s bodies than I am with my own, implores her 196 million followers to figure out how they’re going to vote this year. “but are you registered to vote? click the link in my bio.. let’s make a plan to vote together,” it reads. Sure! Thank you!
Well guess what motherfuckers, it worked: Vote.org, the site that Kylie linked to in her bio, reported a 1,500 percent increase in traffic, partially (or mostly?) as a result of Kylie throwing on a bikini for the ‘gram. I don’t have to like it, but I can respect it. [Hollywood Life]
- I bet Demi Lovato feels “relieved” after getting out of that weird little engagement with that man who is, apparently, going thru it. [Us Weekly]
- This couple continues to fascinate me, I’m sorry, my brain. [People]
- Unfortunately, this couple also fascinates me, just in a different way. [Hollywood Life]