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Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson: Living In Fear Of Papa Joe?

Illustration for article titled Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson: Living In Fear Of Papa Joe?
  • At a Lollapalooza gift suite, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz wouldn't pose with a KY Intimacy kit because Ashlee's dad "would murder them." In their defense? No one should be forced to posed with an "intimacy kit." It's just weird. [Gatecrasher]
  • Designer Marc Jacobs is still talking about his "totally organic diet" and "two-hour exercise regime." Marc, you're thin now. We get it! [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  • Blind item! "Which mogul hates it when his boyfriends get along with his glamorous wife better than they do with him?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
  • Gwen Stefani loves breastfeeding! You didn't need to know that, did you? [Page Six]
  • Tracy Morgan calls his SCRAM anklet a "Lindsay Blowhan bracelet." Hahaha! [Page Six]
  • Michael Lohan is accusing Dina Lohan of shacking up with a boozing boyfriend. None of this can be good for Lindsay's little brothers and sisters. [Page Six]
  • Chris Rock is not the father of some woman's 13-year-old son. Yawn. [Page Six]
  • Has Paris Hilton ditched her Bible and returned to her old (skanky) ways? She was seen wearing her undies to a Playboy Mansion party. Wait, was that whole demure, buttoned up image on Larry King an act??? [The Sun]
  • When Britney arrived for her Allure photo shoot, she "took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason." Why are we not surprised? [The Sun]
  • The Hills' Heidi Montag, about Lauren Conrad: "I never could be friends with a low-life like that." You know the deal: Pot, kettle. [TMZ, 3rd item]
  • The Backstreet Boys have a new single. Have we fallen through a hole in the space-time continuum? [TMZ]
  • Stars get political! Celebs on team Obama: Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, George Clooney, Tyra Banks and Jamie Foxx. Kelsey Grammer is on team Giuliani. [People]
  • Lindsay Lohan's rehab facility has Jacuzzis, horseback riding and a helicopter. [Entertainment Tonight]
  • I Dream Of Jeannie star Barbara Eden warns, "Drugs are sneaky." Uh, thanks, but who asked you? [Entertainment Tonight]
  • Lily Allen's US work visa was taken at a Los Angeles airport. Oh no! Will she be able to make the MTV awards in September? [BBC News]
  • Roseanne sex tape? No thanks! [Perez Hilton]
  • Jane Seymour owns a manor in Bath, where the parties get so out of control that the local people are taking legal action. Hey, if we owned a manor in Bath, we'd party 24/7. [Daily Mail]

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Jane Seymour tried to rent out my grandparents' vacation home in Florida, but she didn't want to pay. She was all, "I'm Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman, I should get to crash at your place for free." and my grandpa was like, "Hmmm, let. Me. Think.... Nah, fuck you, bitch."