It didn’t take much clairvoyance to guess that the Food Network would fire Paula Deen for her propensity to pretend that she was living in a diorama of antebellum Georgia, but the move took a lot of Deenies (that would be the delightfully nimble word I just made up for Paula Deen fans) by surprise. And what do modern humans do when a middling celebrity crisis erupts in the wide world around them? They complain about it on Facebook, of course.
The outpouring of support for Deen on Facebook might just be the work of a single Paula Deen PR intern loyally trying to do damage control via a wide array of Facebook accounts, though that’s unlikely because a lot of Deenies have substituted the surname “Dean” for “Deen.” That doesn’t seem like a wise branding choice, but still, maybe this Paula Deen intern is really savvy about the, ahem, Paula Deen audience. Case in point:
SHAME on you food network for canceling Paula dean!!!!! Are you perfect??? You’ve never said anything you regret? I hope Everybody stops watching food network
Seriously, Food Network, you are so not perfect. I’ve seen Guy Fieri lurking around your back alleys with his aggressive hair. DO BETTER. [Buzzfeed]
- We can all rest a little easier now, thanks to the confidential musings of a “source” close to the Jackson family’s ongoing drama: Paris Jackson is “doing a lot better” and making great progress with her treatment, though she’ll continue to receive care in the wake of her much-publicized suicide attempt. She may even seek care out-of-state, or elect to stay with her mother, Debbie Rowe. Probably best to stay far away from the epicenter of Jackson family feuding, just a hunch. [E!]
- Tan Mom took her perfectly toasted epidermis to rehab for alcohol abuse. Meanwhile, the UV dealer Tan Mom gets all her sweet, delicious radiation from is still at large, sitting smugly somewhere at the center of the Solar System. [TMZ]
- Kelly Rowland, once part of the Destiny’s Child tricycle that Beyoncé practiced on before she learned to ride her unicycle of enduring musical brilliance, had this to say on the subject of Beyoncé and mess-making: “She would tell you this. She’s a slob.” But only because she’s so brilliant and has so much to think about, Rowland added, obviously worried that she’d never be invited to line dance quietly at the next Beyoncé Super Bowl. [Us]
- A private jet company apparently lost its patience with the cultural entropy harbinger known as Justin Bieber when Biebs forced his private jet to stay grounded in Miami while he searched for his pet monkey. To be fair, though, a pet monkey seems like the last thing you’d want loose and running wild on an airplane. [TMZ]
- Precocious rap star Lil Snupe has been killed in the most tragically trivial way imaginable: according to police, a 36-year-old man shot the 18-year-old rapper when an argument broke out during a video game at a friend’s apartment. [AP]
- Here’s super-young Amy Poehler (mouth retainer an all) playing an over-enthused Conan O’Brien fan. [Buzzfeed]
- Not to be outdone, however, is super-young commercial actor Paul Rudd getting a super-cool Toyota Tercel. [Buzzfeed]
- Anthropomorphic pile of garment trimmings Helena Bonham Carter will play the fairy godmother in Kenneth Branagh‘s forthcoming Cinderella movie. Children of the world, prepare to be terrified. [Telegraph]
- Sure, the Food Network fired Paula Deen, but only because her PR team was so shitty. [TMZ]
- Super-duo Matt Lauer and Katie Couric might soon reunite to destroy the universe! Repent, ye mortals — the end is near! [Us]
Image via Getty, Dimitrious Kambouris