Paris Hilton's Doggie Polos Mean The Terrorists Have Won

David Letterman is a bona fie hero to me now: Last night he had Paris Hilton on the program, who he (sincerely? mockingly?) referred to as an "entrepreneur." (Check out the way Paris reflexively put her hand on her hip as she walked out onto the stage.) Then he took us through a heartfelt tour of some of the products she's currently shilling, from her canned Prosecco ("Champagne in a can is sexy") to her line of hair extensions ("Are these made with human hair?") to her line of designer doggie-wear. Clip — complete with accompanying 'Bolero' soundtrack — above.


Can't that Prosecco be in a small bottle, you know, like classy drinks such as wine coolers and Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade?

Such as.