Paris Hilton Trolls Us With Honesty

Illustration for article titled Paris Hilton Trolls Us With Honesty

Someone out there wants to make sure you don’t underestimate those who are wealthier than you — because people do? — like Paris Hilton. She is the G.O.A.T. of celebutante-ness and here are several declarations trolling us just to prove it.


Over at Vice, writer Mitchell Sunderland interviewed Paris just in time for her new “album" and debut of her first single in "Come Alive." He even used the following choice phrases to stir the pot of written word and ridiculousness. Observe.

"Paris Hilton is better than you. This is an indisputable fact."

"If you don't believe me, watch Hilton's new music video for “Come Alive,” the long-awaited lead single of her new album on Birdman's Cash Money label."

"Like Madonna during her early years, Hilton understands that pop music is purely about having fun. "


During Sunderland's chat with Paris, she adds to the troll-roll:

"What's the perfect summer song?

I think the perfect summer song is something that has beautiful lyrics that make you happy, has a fun beat, and puts you in a good mood. That’s why “Stars Are Blind” is such a summer hit and still to this day an iconic summer song."

But then come the hard questions:

Why are there unicorns in the music video?

Because I wanted the music video to be a fantasy dream world and just be frilly and magical, and I think the unicorn is the epitome of magical creatures—and I’ve always wanted to have one.

If you had a unicorn, what would you name it?

I do have a little pony named Lady Coco Chanel, but if I had a unicorn, I would probably just name her Princess Unicorn.


But would Tinkerbell, who I just learned today released a book — a book by a chihuahua, guys — approve of all this unicorn play? Probs not.


Later, Paris really digs deep and discusses her "successful" music career:

With the exception of Farrah’s noise album, you’re the only reality star whose music has been critically acclaimed. Why do you think your music has succeeded when other reality stars have failed?

Because music is something that’s always been a huge part of my life. I played the piano and the violin since I was three years old. I was in chorus my entire life since I was a little girl, and my mom was an amazing singer and just always grew up doing music, and it’s always been a passion of mine. So I think that’s why. Maybe other people just do it just for whatever—fun—but I’m actually really serious about it.


The Hilton heiress admits that she rarely goes on vacation because, “Everything I do is always work." Being paid to walk around a club in Ibiza has got to be rough, indeed — but how else would the Bling Ring gang get to emulate her lifestyle? Exactly. And you know, Paris is just "booked so much.”

It’s hard being popular. But always remember work hard, play hard because the “Stars are Blind.”

Image via Getty.

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Emma Golddigger

WHY? The moment when it became obvious that Paris Hilton was no longer relevant was so beautiful. It was like realizing you finally, officially, got over a lingering cold. Why are people talking about her again? How do we stop this?