• Paris Hilton checked into a detention facility in a not-so-nice part of Hell-ay. [CNN]
  • No one can decide who won last night's Democratic primary debate, though "spars" were "traded" all around. And, uh, Hillary looked, like, really pretty. [CNN]
  • Dina Lohan is getting a TV show on E! tentatively titled Mom-ager — you know, cause she's technically a mom, but mentally a teenager. Or wait, we read that wrong. Because she's trying to turn her two other children into stars. (Think the whole "self-fulfilling prophecy axiom of Hollywood fame" might join forces with the "trainwreck axiom" to accomplish that?) [Page Six]
  • The rest of the weekend in Lohan: As Lohan's Law took effect in Hollywood over the weekend, the News Of The World printed some photos depicting Linds and some other girl posing salaciously with a knife they appear to have mistaken for their dildo. Linds then skipped the MTV movie awards to go to church, probably because Paula Abdul told her that's where all the drunks go to pass out on Sundays.
  • Harper Collins Publishers is betting teenagers will start reading books again, as long as their authors are only slightly more well-behaved than Lindsay Lohan: The publisher's FIRST PRINTING of Jenna Bush's young adult book about an HIV-positive single teenage mother from Panama is HALF A MILLION COPIES. [NY Daily News]