Pairs Ice Skating to 'Drunk in Love' Is Probably How Angels Copulate

If there is one truly constructive thing we’ve learned from this year’s Olympics, it’s that taking old figure skating routines and setting them to sensual music is something that unites all humans in rapture and ecstasy.

First the Internet bestowed upon us Evgeni Plushenko x “Pony,” and now this: a video of Meryl Davis and Charlie White — an ice dancing pair currently at the Olympics who have been skating partners for 17 YEARS — set to “Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé. “Wow, pairs ice dancing is way more intimate than sexual intercourse” is a real thought I had while watching this, so please pray for me.

(The real routine is set to “Scheherazade,” a song notably lacking in intonations of
“SURFBOART.”)