Oscar Pistorius Found Guilty of Culpable Homicide

Yesterday, a judge ruled that South African sprinter Oscar Pistorius was not guilty of “intentional homicide” in the death of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Boo! But today, she announced that she found him guilty of “culpable homicide,” which means he’s going to prison, maybe for a long time. Yay! Also, good to know that in South Africa, verdicts are presented like multi-part season finales that air during sweeps.

Last Valentine’s Day, Pistorius responded to the sound of his girlfriend in the bathroom of the home they shared by taking one of his guns and firing it through the closed door, killing her. You know, normal person things that a normal person does. Pistorius’s attorneys claim that he was convinced she was an intruder and fired in self defense. The prosecutors called bullshit, painted Pistorius as an abusive gun nut with a temper. Pistorius spent much of the trial crying and throwing up.

According to the Washington Post, Judge Thokozile Masipa said that while she couldn’t discern Pistorius’s intent from the testimony presented and thus could not convict him of intentional homicide, she could determine that he acted like a nutbag by shooting through a closed door into a bathroom when he had time to call the police and reason to doubt that the person in the bathroom was a burglar.