Oscar After-Party Showdown: Madonna vs. Elton John

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It turns out that the Golden Globes feud between Madonna and Elton John was, like the award show itself, just a warm-up for a nastier, more passive aggressive Oscar feud in which one of the singers may be left alone and crying over a melting ice cream cake while the other is toasted by a host of celebrities even as an inexplicable sense of remorse crawls in the pit of her preternaturally toned stomach. The contentious superstars will each be hosting post Oscar fetes aimed at ensnaring as many A-list celebrity guests as possible, and just like in a movie about two high school girls vying for the popularity crown, the winning party will be the most well-attended party (though anyone who gets stuck with Kim Kardashian should automatically lose). Sir Elton and his partner David Furnish will be hosting their annual Oscar dinner party, which will benefit the Elton John Aids Foundation, at the Pacific Design Centre. Tickets are $3,500 and some notable guests include Katy Perry, Chace Crawford, Dita Von Teese, Heidi Klum, and Jessica Alba. The Elton John party roster doesn't seem too shabby until one looks at Madonna's, which reportedly includes the real heavy-hitters — Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Natalie Portman, Sean Penn, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Lopez, Tom Cruise, all the Old Testament Hebrew personages, at least six of the Olympian gods, and Wonder Woman, who has personally challenged Madonna to an end-of-the-evening charity arm wrestling contest. Madonna has gone so far as to poach Elton John's favorite Los Angeles florist, David Butterbaugh, and a source says of the 53-year-old voguer's determination to out-invite Sir Elton, "Madonna wants to make sure she has better guests than Elton. The war between them has now become quite personal." This prolonged smolder between the two began in 2004 at the Q awards when Madonna won Best Live Performance and Elton John mashed his sour grapes by claiming that she had lip-synced and, moreover, deserved to be shot for the offense. It looks like Madonna might get the last laugh, but we can't help but wonder if she won't think of a lonely Elton John sitting around a table of B-listers and call to invite him to her party as the night wears on. [Daily Mail]

  • An intrepid photographer has either taken an action shot of Blue Ivy Carter during her first public jaunt or Beyoncé carrying a bundle of blankets to the laundromat. Which do you think is more likely? I'm going to hazard a guess that it's the latter of the two possibilities, based on the assumption that it's not really Beyoncé in the picture but a Beyoncé body double tasked with washing spit-up out of silk baby blankets. [NDNY]
  • Speaking of New York happenings and body doubles, Megan Fox stand-in Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and her shapely-headed beau Jason Statham checked out a 3 bedroom, 3 ½ bath duplex on 136 Baxter St. in Soho on Thursday. The unit spans the 6th and 7th floors, costs $4.459m (in case you want to make a competing bid, just, you know, for giggles), and transfixed the steely-eyed Statham for "over 30 minutes," during which time he checked for daring escape routes and scoped out a suitably large nunchuck practice area. [NDNY]
  • In more Jason Statham news, the action star donned a granite-colored coat, up-flipped the collar, and serenely spit in a paparazzo's face. [The Superficial]
  • Emma Watson was spotted leaving a London cafe — which the Daily Mail writers believe is far too reasonably priced an eatery for a young woman with a $20 million-plus Harry Potter treasure mountain — with a Harry Potter/Ron Weasely amalgam of a human being. No word on the identity of this strange creature, but Watson was reportedly laughing "heartily," so that's a big change from the post-Potter glowers the actress has treated us to in recent photos. After a string of brief relationships with The Perks of Being a Wallflower co-star Johnny Simmons, financier Jay Barrymore, and fellow Burberry model George Craig, maybe Watson is longing for her Potter days and so asked films' producers to make her a Ron/Harry meal companion robot. [Daily Mail]
  • Taylor Swift told Ellen Degeneres this week that her recent standing ovation at the Grammys was one of the top-five moments in her life, neck in neck with buying her cat. Why isn't cat ownership this 22-year-old's top priority? Probably because 20-somethings are notoriously selfish, thoughtless people who don't care as much about other living things as they do the deafening cacophony of palms slapping each other repeatedly. [NDNY]
  • Nobody will be giving Adam Sandler a standing ovation anytime soon — he's just broken the record for most Razzie nominations with 11 for his work as an actor, writer, and producer on these sundry bad movies: Jack and Jill, Just Go With It, and Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star. The previous record (5) was held by Eddie Murphy, whose abdicated Oscar stewardship you'd lament if you've ever seen Raw. [E!]
  • Avril Lavigne is angling for that sweet X-Factor judging gig so she can, according to TMZ, "mentor the kids of the show the right way." Also she probably doesn't have a whole lot else going on other than getting into bar fights with Brody Jenner. [TMZ]
  • DMX listed all the things he loves most about word-rhyming colleague Drake during an interview with New York radio station Power 105.1: "I don't like anything about Drake. I don't like his fucking voice. I don't like the shit he talks. I don't like his face. I don't like the way he talks — nothing. I don't like his haircut." [E!]
  • Gerard Butler completed his stint in rehab on Friday and returned home from the Betty Ford clinic where he was being treated for a burgeoning addiction to prescription medication. [CBS]
  • Ugandan police have arrested a man who allegedly sold freelance producer Jeff Rice "bad cocaine." Rice, a producer on Amazing Race, was reported dead earlier this Tuesday and his production assistant Kathryn Fuller, another apparent victim of the illicit drugs, remains in critical condition in Kampala City. [E!]
  • Ever wonder who has Academy voting privileges? The "carefully guarded list" that the Academy refuses to release in full because it's afraid the viewing public might take its crowned champions even less seriously than we already do contains such cinematic luminaries as Meat Loaf, 15-year-old Abigail Breslin, Paul "My Pee-Wee Is Showing" Reubens, Neve Campbell, and Cheech Marin. Of that short sampling, I'd say that only Abigail Breslin and Cheech are trustworthy, the former because she brings a youthful perspective to a staid award ceremony and the latter because his days most likely consist of getting super baked and watching a ton of movies. There's also a nun on the list and her name is Dolores Hart, bless her tender, ballot casting soul. [E!]



Elton John's sounds much better. Who wants to be stuck in a room with Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, and Madonna herself? Not worth much, but I'll always be on your side, Mr. John!