Organizing Real Life Witches Way Harder Than The Craft

Illustration for article titled Organizing Real Life Witches Way Harder Than The Craft

If you thought deciding on a Halloween costume was a bother, you should try organizing a Pagan ritual! Slate's Lee Ann Kinkade, has a piece about trying to wrangle witches for the festival of Samhein, or "the night when the veil between the living and the dead, between this world and others, is thin." Like Halloween, Samhein is October 31st, and because Pagans by nature are non-comformists, getting a group of them to agree on anything is near impossible. Though there will be mead and amulets and "an unfortunate excess of tie-dyed material," getting the entire coven to choose the same kind of ritual dagger is a terrible process.Kinkade describes it well:

A few weeks before the ritual comes the discussion. It may begin with a priestess asking what song we should sing for the Spiral Dance, the part of the ritual in which we dance clockwise ("sunwise" is our term for it) to generate energy and to unite us with the god and goddess. One person suggests "There Is No End to the Circle." Any number of coven members nod; the rest groan. Somebody says, "We did that last year." Somebody else: "Exactly. It's traditional with us." Another person asks, "So, we're faux fam-trad now?" A new coven member tries to remember what, exactly, a fam-trad coven is. Inspired by the discussion, someone spontaneously sings out, "There is no end to this song, there is no end." The high priestess glares. Eventually, the debate is resolved simply because everyone is sick of talking about it. Now the rest of the ritual has to be planned—and it's just more of the same. Scintillating debates may rage on such issues as vegan vs. nonvegan cakes and alcoholic vs. nonalcoholic ale.


And don't even get Kinkade started on trying to plan a fete for Lughnasadh. What a headache! Witches' Brouhaha [Slate]


Erin Gloria Ryan

I would be the most hated witch in my coven, because when I get frustrated with things I just start making ridiculous suggestions, like everyone dress up like Where's Waldo or sing "Cracklin' Rosie" by Neil Diamond during the ceremony or instead of walking in a circle, why not save energy by everyone sitting on a merry-go-round and one person just push?