Oprah, who future civilizations will look back upon and assume was our queen, has released her annual "Favorite Things" list. Long gone are the days when we witnessed the unveiling of this rich lady fantasy on-air as a lucky studio audience of women had controlled brain aneurisms. Now, we must be content with clicking through an online slideshow of the Oprah's opulent Christmas list.

This year, if you decided to splurge, the entire list would cost you a cool $13,054.

Speaking of $13,054, here are the number of months you could rent a studio apartment in the top ten most expensive rental markets in America:

  • 5 months in San Francisco
  • 5 months in New York
  • 6 months in Boston
  • 7 months in DC
  • 7 months Oakland
  • 9 months in Miami
  • 9 months in San Jose
  • 9 months in Los Angeles
  • 10 months in Seattle
  • 11 months in San Diego

Here is a list of other things you can buy for $13,054:

  • A 2015 Chevrolet Spark LS Hatchback
  • One year of tuition at the University of Washington
  • Paris Hilton's puppy
  • Two facelifts
  • Thirteen cows

If you prefer to go Ă  la carte, I've listed some highlights from the list below:

CĂ´te Gift Set

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You can spend $144 on nine bottles of vegan nail polish.

365 Gathered Truths Box

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Oprah writes:

"Here's a boxful of gathered truths printed on beautiful handmade paper. I like to read as many as I can while I'm waiting five minutes for my chai to steep. If you get only one of my Favorite Things this year, I'd want this to be it." — Oprah

I don't make my own chai tea, so I'm not sure when I'd find the time to rifle through this $85 box of paper, but if that's your thing, have at it.

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Peace Love Oprah Collection Shirt

At $98, this shirt isn't really obscenely expensive, but seriously, who loves Sundays? Fridays? Sure. Saturdays? Obviously. Sundays are like vegetable pizza—I guess it's better than no pizza.

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Happy Holiday Loaf

This is a $150 loaf of bread that has a two foot diameter and weighs 15 pounds

Yoga Tablet 2 Pro

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This is not, as the wildly deceptive name suggests, a tablet that shows you how to do yoga. It's a tablet that isn't an iPad with a projector hooked the side. But the fact that it is "developed by Lenovo and Ashton Kutcher" makes that $500 totally worth it.

If none of these items are your speed, never fear, Oprah looked out for us Poors by including $10 headbands and $20 dessert plates on the list.

Images via Oprah.com; Lede image via Ruven Afanador.