Oprah Smelt It, Denies She Dealt It

Due to some technical difficulties on Friday, The Lady Bunch was regrettably delayed, but much like getting our periods, it's better late than never. Last week was the breast week ever, thus far. Sheri Shepherd's gave The View a whole new meaning with the generous display of her long cleavage, which seemed to really rev up Barbara Walters. Tyra got two handfuls of Katharine McPhee, and then pondered how much she should insure her own breasts (she reckons $2 mil for the set). She typically reserves that much airtime for discussing weaves. Also, Oprah—selected by Forbes as the most powerful celeb in Hollywood—had a show dedicated to answering all the burning questions she's had over the years. What was at the top of the list? Poop. For real. In related news, she admits she farts, then blames it on other people! After the jump, recaps on the best moments of the past week in girl talk.

Before we get started, let's find out the answer to Oprah's "burning question": Where does the poop go after you flush? It ends up here:

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Are they being ironic with that name? Anyway, the poop gets separated from the toilet paper and tampons and then goes on this conveyor belt. It's a little reminiscent of when Mr. Rogers would show how crayons get made, no?

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Congratulations are in order for the gals at The View, because they finally stopped talking over each other long enough to hammer out a contract with their new moderator, Whoopi Goldberg. She's OK, but she's no Rosie. She dresses like a lesbian though, so I guess that's a little comforting?

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Joy reminded us to get the summer '07 mug before they sell out. Collector's item! I'm totally gonna buy it.

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The day it was announced that Rosie wouldn't be returning, I high tailed it over to ABC.com and bought the spring '07 mug.

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It's a lovely addition to what's shaping up to be the gayest mug collection.

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Speaking of homosexuals, Tyra had these anti-gay kooks back on her show. They'd been on before, but had caused such an uproar on Tyra's message boards that she couldn't resist inviting commenters from her blog to be in the studio audience and face off with these Manson family-esque chicks.

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Her intentions were clearly more in the interest of ratings rather than open discourse, but that's fine by me. The best part is that they called Tyra a "fag enabler." She was all, "I am not." She so is! Gurl, you know it's true. It's part of the reason we love you.

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You know who I don't love? This one:

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But fuck her, let's get back to talking about this one:

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Her show is moving to New York and I couldn't be any more excited. I already called for tix but they haven't gotten back to me yet. I'm going out of my mind with suspense. Tyra, call me!!!! I'd even take some snail mail, if you think the phone is too intimate.

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DISCUSSION

By
BiscuitDoughJones

What exactly IS a fage enabler, and what does one do? Do you enable fags by not screaming at them for hijacking movie night with 'Cabaret' for the 1,000th time? Letting them use your sylist to highlight their hair? Dishing about guys you've dated's peens?

If so, I want a button that says "fag enabler". I will wear it everywhere, and with pride.