On Second Thought, Tape Is No Replacement for a Swimsuit

Trend alert: say goodbye to those summer nerve endings because swimsuits fashioned from tape are hot hot hot ow.

In case you didn’t know, it’s Miami Swim Week, and making its debut in said historic moment was Miami-based brand The Black Tape Project, designed by Joel Alvarez the self-professed “King of Tape” (buddy, you can have it). More photos can be found here.

Outlets reporting on the tape bikini’s “moment” have been pointing to some obvious, understandable concerns. Does the bathing suit hurt like hell when you rip it off your bare flesh? Do these swimsuits pay for themselves in cancelled bikini wax appointments? Do they stay on in the water or is swimming so passé? And if they do come off in the water are they harmful to the environment and where is the nude beach closest to me supposing the tape is pretty much just regular tape?

But all I want to know is: Can I apply these swimsuits without the assistance of a tape artist? Because I’m not going to the beach with a tape artist no matter how impossibly good I may look.