On Heidi Fleiss And Why Sex Workers Are So Wise

Image for article titled On Heidi Fleiss And Why Sex Workers Are So Wise

Hollywood madam and ex-con Heidi Fleiss has grandiose plans to build a fully-sustainable brothel and accompanying "Stud Farm" in the "Prostitution state" of Nevada. It will be powered by the wind. And there's probably a pun in there but I sort of wanted to use the February ELLE story of this lofty endeavor to put my finger to the wind of Jezzie public sentiment about a specific issue: do you think Heidi Fleiss is awesome? (And also: why are sex workers always so wise?) (And also: would you fuck a male whore?) Having dined with Heidi once — she ate the food off my plate and did not appear to puke in the whole evening I spent with her so I was confused as to why she was 80 pounds, but that's neither here nor there — I remember thinking Heidi was a pretty admirable lady. And this story only reinforces that view!


Sure, she's 80 pounds with a face mangled by surgery and she cheated on her taxes. But she has been a kind of amazing hustler ever since she started a middle school baby-sitting ring in high school that became a sort of a precursor to the Madam business. (Did the Baby-sitters Club series inspire a prostitution ring?) "When you walk in Fleiss's front door, you are met by a large white poster of a devilish red man under the words 'Male Aggression Now Playing Everywhere,'" writes ELLE. Also: she lives among a few hundred parrots, was a prison lesbian even though she hates screwing girls, inspired one prison "girlfriend" to get out of the drug business and start her own business, and comes across like a genuinely good person. "Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said people can adjust to anything. I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary, and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a chateau in France," she tells the magazine, in one of the numerous instances you can't help but think "Oh dude wise." Seriously though, a lot of dudes think sex workers have all sorts of fucked-up opinions about men because they only see "clients" but I think this just assumes women are as incapable of appreciating nuance as men are. Sex workers are some of the wisest bitches in this country.

The Once And Future Madam [ELLE]



Feminists rarely have a healthy outlook on prostitution: either it is viewed as this deplorably 100% exploitation of unwilling women by the patriarchy, or it's this inherently magical, wonderful, fulfilling career peopled entirely by the sage warrior goddesses who love their woman selves that has been twisted by the patriarchy. The truth is somewhere in between closer, I think, to the former, though I am all for legalized prostitution and view sex work as just as valid as any other ware you can peddle. There is nothing glorious about fucking for cash, ladies. That said, there is nothing inherently wrong with it, either. I'd rather be a hooker than, say, a baby seal clubber, or something. i think there are laws that not only should but HAVE to be made for the protection of these men and women.

Oh, and a male prostitute? No. And I don't think women are the key demographic in a boy whorehouse...