With all the news of the Britney Spears/OK! Magazine photoshoot meltdown, you'd think the new issue of OK! would be awesome. But it's not. First of all: No pictures from the photo shoot! Did Britney buy them out? Are they coming next week? What is going on? The opening spread has a photo of Britney leaving the photo shoot — underpants visible, Red Bull in hand— but there are no images from the shoot. (The magazine claims to have taken four test shots.) Also, if an interview was initiated, there are no questions — and no answers — to be had. Again, are the magazine's editors holding back? Even if Britney just said, "OK, I'm ready to be interviewed," we want to know!

As for the story itself, it's detailed and elaborate. Britney showed up 45 minutes late; she "banished" everyone but the hair and makeup people from the set — and then even they were "banished." She wanted Janet Jackson's album 'Rhythm Nation' to be playing. The magazine was informed that the clothing selection "just wasn't sexy," so Britney's assistant Shannon Funk took over as stylist. Then the infamous chicken-grease-wiping event occurred, and Brit's $3,000 Yorkie pooped on a Zac Posen gown. (Our hero!)

OK! claims that Britney emerged from the bathroom "disoriented," and then, "out of the blue", stormed from the shoot. She also apparently took a few things with her — $14,796 worth of things! — including two $6,387 rings, a $281 Pucci headscarf (which we think she's wearing in the getaway pic), a $974 Vera Wang dress, a pair of $380 Lanvin heels, a $300 Mia Vita dress, and a $87 gold bangle. But honestly? Showing up late and acting cuckoo is sort of expected at this point. What we really wanted were quotes and pictures, and we got neither.

OK! Magazine