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Ohio Fetus Testimony Doesn't Go So Well

Illustration for article titled Ohio Fetus Testimony Doesnt Go So Well

The moment of truth came this morning: The nine-week-old fetus was to testify before the Ohio legislature in support of a bill to ban abortion at the first detection of a heartbeat. So much pressure! No wonder the fetus clammed up.


According to news reports, that fetus — brought along by the carrier — was barely detectible, "only faintly audible and far from distinct," according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Luckily, the bill's major advocate, Faith2Action head, columnist, and noted birther Janet Porter, had brought along a fifteen-week-old fetus with its female incubator.


The entire stunt showed just how imprecise and unscientific the premise of the bill is; news reports have repeated that a fetal heartbeat can be detected as early as 18 days, which is clearly not always the case.

According to a local news channel, "With 50 co-sponsors, the bill is likely to pass." If it becomes law, prepare for a legal battle up to the Supreme Court. And get ready for other states to follow Ohio's example: Oklahoma and Texas legislators are said to be watching closely.

Lawmakers See Fetus Ultrasounds During 'Heartbeat' Bill Hearings [10TV]
Ultrasound Images Of Two Fetuses Shown To Lawmakers During 'Heartbeat Bill' Hearing [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Earlier: Fetus To Testify In Support Of Ohio Heartbeat Bill

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Phillipa Marlowe

"Your Honour, I'd like to cross-examine the witness.

So, fetus of indeterminate sex, you say that you'd like to share your thoughts with the jury. This is interesting considering that, at nine weeks old, you have neither a brain nor brain function. What do you have to say about this?"

*....gurgle....stomach gas....*

"Right, so, em, Incubator of the fetus of indeterminate sex, you are a living breathing person, can I ask your opinion of the matter of reproductive rights of other living breathing women, including the right to abortion?"

"Yes, I love my fetus, but I believe that any living, breathing, brain functioning, autonomous person, should have the power to control whether or not their uterus is home to a fetus. I do not want to abort my sweet bundle of cells, but I believe that many women get into situations, like expensive birth control not covered by health insurance, where they have no choice but to either abort their bundle of cells or, at the risk of their health and happiness, carry a child that they don't want into the world."

'A compelling argument from both witnesses. This will be a tough decision for the jury. There are no further questions, your Honour."