Of Course You Can Buy Salt Made from Human Tears

Illustration for article titled Of Course You Can Buy Salt Made from Human Tears

Are the dinners you cook for yourself not sad enough? Have you been looking to give your meals a little extra boost of emotion? Well then you might want want to try seasoning them with these new salts made from human tears. They're sold by Hoxton Street Monster Supplies in London and the website promises a magical sounding product:

Salt Made From Tears combines centuries-old craft with the freshest human tears which are gently boiled, released into shallow crystallisation tanks, then harvested by hand and finally rinsed in brine.


You can choose from tears brought on by chopping onions, laughing, sneezing, anger, and, of course, sorrow. If you're worried that perhaps this is unsanitary, you need not be concerned. Here's a hint: The sale of these salts benefits the Ministry of Stories, a writing center that stimulates the imaginations of young storytellers. Still, it will be fun to feed your guests a little bit of artisanal bullshit by telling them that tonight's meal is infused with special salt that offers a subtle undertone of sadness.

[Via PSFK]

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I hope this is the start of a "strange salt of the month" club where I can hopefully one day season my vegetables with baby tears or dog tears. On a particularly cranky day I can savor tasting their delicious misery over a nice plate of sauteed green beans.