Obama Inspires Hillary To Plagiarize Her Own Inspiring Speech

Illustration for article titled Obama Inspires Hillary To Plagiarize Her Own Inspiring Speech

Hillary Clinton gave a touching and beautiful closing statement at last night's debate about how she felt honored and blessed to be in the presence of Mr. Fairytale Commielover and that, whatever happens, "We'll be alright." But it turns out she just Xeroxed the statement from John Edwards! Get out the knives, boys and girls! No not really! We're feeling gracious and subdued (oh all right hungover) this wintry Friday, me and Glamocracy's Megan Carpentier, and aside from that we feel kind of bad for getting all gleeful-like re the possibility that John McCain had sexual relations with a woman who looks exactly like his wife etc. etc. Because you know what? This is still an okay country, some of us are even proud of it, and if there's anything that unites us all it's that Karl Rove is not dead yet and that is sad.


MEGAN: Good morning! Does the weather suck in New York, too?
MOE: There is snow everywhere.
MEGAN: It's sleeting here.
MOE: My mom is wanting to know if she has a snow day.
MEGAN: Are you watching this Ruby Dee profile on CNN? I love her. Also, her son is a great blues musician.
MOE: I'm guessing she does.
MEGAN: Delays, but no cancellations I'm guessing.
MOE: NO I"m watching...whoa, Spongebob Squarepants?
dude I spelled gandhi's name wrong in my news roundup last night
MEGAN: Why must people wear yellow?
MOE: I am filled with shame
It was a total brainfart but I blame it on no adderall.
'm taking 20 mgs right now just to compensate.
And bc I overslept.
So did you watch the debate?
MEGAN: Gandhi's reincarnation is probably cool with it, though. He seems like he was mellow about that shit. Hindus believe in reincarnation right?
I did watch the debates, in a bar.
MOE: Oh! Tell me how they were. And then we can talk about how OMG Karl Rove is such a dick and it's not just some cancer-stricken humanitarian pop alt country singer saying it this time!
MEGAN: I mean, I am going to completely agree with Obama on one point: they have already done enough goddamn debates.
MOE: No shit!
I caught the beginning with the Raul Castro question, then...went drinking
MEGAN: That said, I don't think there were probably a lot of conversions. I also think it's more obvious to the average person after last night how politicians have answers to the questions they want ask and give them regardless of the actual questions.
MOE: A reporter friend of mine was IMing me while I was gone (sorry!) and he is notoriously nonpartisan or whatever but all he could talk about was her being smirky. She's always smirky so I don't even notice it now. That's all I have to say.
MEGAN: Also, the Washington Post caught her "echoing" part of a statement by John Edwards from a debate in December there at the end, which one hopes will be the end of the whole copying issues, mostly because it's boring and there are no new ideas under the sun and I'm tired of thinking/writing about it.
I think the smirky is a media training thing, because she's been told she looks too mean or something when she's not smiling. But then she sits too close to the table in between questions and looks down to take notes while smiling and it looks smirky because of the angle.
MEGAN: Yeah. It was one of her better lines of the night. It got a standing O, or else everyone in the audience knew before me that it was the end of the debate.
MOE: for the record I liked her closing statement thingy.
MEGAN: It was really excellent, though I cringed when she cracked the joke at the beginning.
Because, now she's cracking jokes about being cheated on?
I'm a little sensitive at the moment about male infidelity, so I think that's just sort of a personal thing, though.
MOE: Um yeah I dunno.
Enough with the debates!
MEGAN: Also, I texted you last night. I loved her suit. Much better use of yellow.
Yes, only one more debate left before she demands some more or something and then we get into the real debates.
MOE: Do you know anything about Don Spiegelman? I'm having trouble focusing here.
MEGAN: Yes, I do
His whole prosecution was long-rumored to have been engineered by Rove.
MOE: download please!
MEGAN: Of course, in avoiding prison and shame, it generally helps if one isn't doing shady/illegal things that powerful, Machiavellian people can get you on.
And it's all tied into cronyism and messed up priorities at the Bush Justice Department.
MOE: Oh that's funny. They totally spread all these rumors about Karl Rove being behind the investigation of City Hall in Philadelphia but no one believed them because Bob Brady pretty much came out and admitted he made them up. But maybe they were true! On the other hand, why would Karl Rove bother with Philadelphia when there are Democrats with the gall to try and rule states such as ARKANSAS?
i mean Alabama.
Freudian or something!
MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, the whole thing about going after Siegelman is so, like, over-the-top and personal seeming that I wonder if Siegelman, like, fucked Karl's wife or something.
Pissed in his soup.
MOE: OH my God look what just came in over the transom. Thanks, Us Weekly, for getting MmmmmmBop stuck in my head.
MEGAN: Dude tried to get pictures of Siegelman fucking. Who in the would would want pictures of this guy doing the horizontal mambo?
Wait, people in Hollywood at clubs I would never in a million years be cool enough to get into listen to MMMBop and dance on tables to Brit-Brit? Once again in my life, suddenly, being decidedly uncool actually seems cooler than being "cool."
MOE: Well it's Nicole Richie! she's a MOM now
MEGAN: I don't think even that can excuse MmmBop.
MOE: Soooooo, debate: did you have a favorite moment? (Sorry, readers, who actually get this far; I actually like WENT OUT last night)
I am retarded today.
There's a story on Cindy McCain's Quiet Strength in the Post if you're looking for something to talk about.
P.S.: why don't we see Bridget on the campaign trail? What does she have AP exams to study for or something?
MEGAN: Also, I just saw a side shot of her hair yesterday and I want to know how to do that. She can't have a campaign hair stylist, right?
Actually, amusingly, McCain's kids don't want to be on the road or in the spotlight, and he doesn't make them. It's actually kind of cool. I would not want to be on TV if I was 15 again. I don't want to be on TV now.
MOE: Yeah and he has like 10 kids right? Fair enough. I think I found one pic of her here.
MEGAN: That's got to be Meghan, right? She looks cute.
Because that's several years ago.
MOE: I spent a lot of time talking with people last night about the McCain story: one day after. I have to say it made me depressed. Two people quit the Times over that story. That story. It took them months and months and thousands of reporting hours and that is what they got. It does not make me as sad or uncomfortable as the whole Michelle Obama treason thing, because the rest of the media seemed to handle it pretty responsibly, but.
MEGAN: Also, here's a family photo from 1999, coincidentally the year the Times reporters think McCain was boning the lobbyist.
MOE: And here's Meghan McCain, who is impossible to hate on:
MEGAN: Also, here's hoping that no one I have ever fucked becomes famous, because I would hate to have my picture plastered on TV like Iseman's.

Life is all about perspective. Having grown up in politics, I know it's an industry that, for all intents and purposes, is known for being dirty and cruel. And yet, despite it all (and I really mean it all) I feel so grateful and blessed for every single day and for the opportunities I've been given. I have an absolutely epic group of friends, wonderful parents I love and who love me in return, a brother who just returned safely from Iraq, and I have the honor of touring the greatest country in the world with a group of people I just can't get enough of. The list of blessings in my life could go on for days.

Why do I choose to be involved in politics right now? Because my father is different. He's compassionate, full of life, hilarious and is a beacon of integrity to myself and to so many others. Politics is rough, but I absolutely adore my Dad and this campaign and have never, ever stopped believing in him. It's just that simple.

Song of the Day: Brothers and Sisters by Coldplay

If you scroll down there's even a pic of traitorous Mark McKinnon with a wineglass!
MEGAN: I mean, Keller should've either spiked the story altogether or run the whole thing.
I mean, apparently they only ran it then because this story was about to run about them not running the story.
MOE: Anyway the cool thing about this campaign I think is that with Obama McCain, it's shaping up to be a real national conversation about foreign policy and how to run an economy in a recession. And that's the thing that that story missed. And yeah I read the TNR story. Meh. What exactly do you think was the "whole" story though?
MEGAN: And what I know about journalism could fit in this IM window, but it was obvious even to me that it was heavily edited and redacted and meant to be about the affair but that the editor didn't think their sourcing was solid enough on that, which it isn't going to be short of a Gary Hart stake-out or pictures which, one hopes for the sake of one's sanity, do not exist.
I just hope whomever it ends up being it isn't about this shit. Because foreign policy and economics and shit is, like, actually important, unlike who any of them might've played hide-the-pickle with 10 years ago.
MOE: I don't think either of them are going to let it become about this shit.
And that's kind of cool.
Would you meet with Raul Castro if you were president
MEGAN: Our Cuba policy is an abject failure. But, the Secretary of State should be the one who starts the dialog, I think. Nixon didn't go straight to China himself.
MOE: The SoS should clearly start the dialogue, or else it just looks gratuitous. But that's the thing: it is not 1972 and Cuba is not Cultural Revolution China. Castro is not Mao. Mao was, you know, straight up unadulterated deluded psychopath evil. And yet Kissinger, god bless him, met him, because it was in our interests but it also ended up making life so so so much better for most Chinese. Now, this conversation has to like end because it's almost ten, but that's the sort of diplomacy dovish presidents haven't traditionally gotten away with as much. Could Obama change that? It's an AUDACIOUS thought!
MEGAN: That word is eventually going to have to be banned.



@SinisterRouge: Thank f'ing Christ. Can you and your cabal of fucking dykes (i'll help) calm this place down or burn it down?

@ThaKadinskyPapers: You are killing me here. And seeing a little LiLo head next door to your comment is making it even better. Also, do you have a spare joint you could send my way. I'm out and my dude is not answering.