Okay. I'm at a party. It's a miracle I even remembered my login because this is not my computer. But by some miracle I remembered it, even though there were letters and numbers, and I think I just needed to share this moment with you. Obama is the projected winner of the Iowa Democratic caucus. Almost makes you want to give a hug to Scarlett Johansson, yeah? And on the Republican side...uh...Mike Huckabee. Whatever. Let's dwell on the good news here. "A man whose father is from Kenya, war-torn Kenya," Chris Matthews keeps saying. So yes, there's some major conflict happening in Kenya right now. Anyway. Like I said, let's dwell on the good news. The bad news is that Iowa's Republican caucus goers are 60% Evangelical and therefore 60% crazy.

The amazing thing is that Huckabee "endorsed" Obama yesterday and is, by the way, probably more fiscally liberal than Obama. (Also, he finished his college degree in two years.) So, you know, the Republican voters are sort of a wild card. Who the fuck knows what they're thinking? They're fickle motherfuckers. There's no Karl Rove in this picture. I feel bad for John McCain. I really want an Obama-McCain ticket. I'm only telling you that because I'm drunk, though. By the way, I love you guys.