NYC Playground Battle: Bikinis vs. Babies

“When is a playground not a playground?” an exasperated blogger recently philosophized. Answer: when college coeds dare to suntan in it. Stuyvesant Town tenants are outraged that female NYU students with breasts are “occupying” the yard that they pay exorbitant amounts of rent to access. Who will win the baby vs. bikini wars of Summer 2013?

“A lot of side boob on the playground this weekend,” an intrepid reporter commented on a Stuyvesant Town Report post attacking the infestation of Playground 10 — an artificial lawn ostensibly for use by any and all of the development’s residents — by “self-entitled yahoos.” The “two dozen scantily clad young women” (thanks, New York Post) who tanned outside last Friday afternoon have angered neighbors who didn’t stop at posting creepy comments online; last weekend, security guards actually kicked tanners off the lawn after receiving complaints.

“This used to be a very strait-laced community,” said Susan Steinberg, head of the tenants association, who believes all “two-pieces” should be banned. “The sunbathing is tasteless, it’s not very classy, and it doesn’t belong in a mixed residential development.”

The “scantily glad young women” (one wonders if any shirtless men were out and about?) aren’t relinquishing their right to share the yard with children.

“A body’s a body, and they need to get over themselves,” said Katie Friedman, 23. “I pay just as much rent as they do. Just because I don’t have a child doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to be here.”

“There’s just a lot of rules here, and they enforce them randomly,” said a Marymount Manhattan College student. “We pay outrageous money to live here. Let us sunbathe for a few hours.”

Something called an “Oval Lawn” (which sounds pretty tan-friendly) is opening up at Stuy Town in a few weeks, so perhaps the controversy will die down soon. However: “Please, management, show some balls and don’t wait to enforce this once the Oval Lawn is open for sunbathing,” a blogger urged. “Think of the children!”