No, it is not a plague or a virus or a government conspiracy that will bring about the zombie apocalypse. Instead, the harbinger of our imminent, flesh-eating doom will be *NSYNC’s Joey Fatone in chaps and a hipster ‘stache, screaming that the zombies are everywhere, and he’s low on his whiskey.
Dead 7 is the latest Syfy made-for-TV movie to come from the creators of Sharknado, and in an effort to one-up Tara Reid’s temporarily severed hand, they’ve brought us a dystopian Western featuring members of *NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees.
Oh, and they also got almost the entire line-up of everyone’s favorite ejaculate dreamers, AKA O*Town, to join in on the fun.
As far as I can tell, Dead 7 is literally, truly, and only about a group of gun-toting, harmonizing ragamuffins who somehow survived Carson Daly’s hollow, animatronic gaze on TRL, only to end up in this zombie fuckswamp of a town.
As BuzzFeed reported, Nick Carter is set to play the lead, flanked by fellow BSBers AJ McLean and Howie Dorough, the former of which is definitely channeling A Clockwork Orange. The movie also stars Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick, sans dreadlocks, from *NSYNC, 98 Degrees’ sole survivor Jeff Timmons, and Erik-Michael Estrada, Jacob Underwood, Trevor Penick, and Dan Miller from O*Town.
(There is no word if Ashley Parker Angel was ripped apart by the undead before the making of this movie.)
You’ll be able to watch the two-hour event on April 1 on Syfy, but right now, I’m just getting flashbacks of BSB’s music video for “Everybody”about this. Sorry, the heart wants what the heart wants.
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