I've decided to set up the P.M. link dump as a "Reasons I'm drinking tonight" post tonight, since that's pretty much what I do every night anyway and today is particularly festive, since it involves a very special display of Christmas spirits. Do you like bullet points? I'm kind of over them, but bullets seem partic appropriate for tonight's series of toastS!
- I don't have an American Dream I have to worry about selling
- But I do have a Dream that Bush will show up in Iran to talk to college students about how he hails from the axis of Gay or whatever and some university in Iran is humoring me there.
- I'm drinking to getting born on the side of the world that gets drinking and democracy and not on the side with all the natural resources where if you can endure the no running water thing and avoid the roadside bombs and the hatred of all your peers you get by working for the Iraqi government you might have the luck to get killed by one of our democracy-promoting mercenary soldiers drunk from the Blackwater Christmas Party.
- Because that means a whole $15,000 for your mourning family. which just to give some perspective would be .0055% of what the government spends every day on the war/
- And another drink for the poor Blackwater alkie struggling to cough up the "multi thousand dollar" fine he got for killing the guy. And you thought celebrities were above the law!
- I'll have a drink to do my part to absorb the icecaps melting faster than scientists ever thought possible
- And to the fact no one put me in charge of upholding freedom in countries where, duh, hellooooo, whatever dude we already gave your kid the freedom to skip class to work in that nice new textile factory now shut up.
- And to the heartwarming fact that today's rigorous high schools are going to such lengths to shelter students from the burden of even knowing who the fuck Dick Cheney even is.
- Chased by a drink to the right to choose not to stop drinking for the next nine months.