Now Sharks Can Tweet at You to Warn You They're Coming

You guys. The great whites are on Twitter. LITERALLY. (Almost.) Scientists in Australia have attached transmitters to more than 320 sharks and are using Twitter to give swimmers a heads-up when big tooth-machines will be sharking around in their area. Hopefully, the system can help avoid unfortunate man-chomps—which, though relatively rare, have been bad enough for shark PR that humans feel justified in rapidly slaughtering sharks to extinction.

Just recently, in fact, Australian ministers approved a plan that will allow professional fishermen to kill sharks over a certain size, if they’re caught swimming in human territory. You know, those parts of the ocean that are “for” humans. THE FUCKING OCEAN. Like, I’m sorry, if you can’t even hang in a habitat for one hour without your skin starting to shrivel up and dissolve, you don’t get to call that shit your “territory.” Ugh, I hate all humans.

Anyway, here’s more info on shark tweets, via Sky News:

When a tagged shark swims within about a kilometre of a beach, it triggers an alert which is picked up by computer. That computer then instantly turns the shark’s signal into a short message on Surf Life Saving Western Australia’s (SLSWA) Twitter feed.

The tweet gives the size and breed of the shark, and its approximate location.

Chris Peck, from SLSWA, told Sky News the system is far quicker than traditional warnings on local radio and in newspapers.

“You might not have got some of that information until the following day in which case the hazard has long gone and the information might not be relevant.

“Now it’s instant information and really people don’t have an excuse to say we’re not getting the information, it’s about whether you are searching for it and finding it,” he said.

@sharks Stay safe, bros.

@humans STOP FUCKING MURDERING SHARKS, YOU SELF-OBSESSED MEGALOMANIACAL DUMBFUCKS. JUST BECAUSE YOU DREAM ABOUT EATING YOUR OWN DONG… (1/2)

@humans …ALL DAY DOESN’T MEAN EVERY OTHER ANIMAL WANTS TO EAT YOU. GET A GRIP. (2/2)