Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Last night, Vanity Fair teamed up with Juicy Couture for the 20th Anniversary of Vanities, at which most gals free-balled it with their tits.

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Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

OK, so obvs Emmy Rossum is wearing heart-shaped pasties, but what has me confused is whether or not she actually intended for us to see them.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

Tits ahoy: Jessica Chastain, Dania Ramirez, and Teresa Palmer.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party

I don't know if it's the makeup or the 'tude but Jenna Malone managed to look goth in a white cocktail dress and I love it.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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The Descendants costars Mary Birdsong and Shailene Woodley paired plunging necklines with pants, while Stacy Keibler covered up.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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Malin Ackerman's tramp stamp is just below her neck.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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As far as I'm concerned a leather jacket always makes anything you wear look about 30% cooler as demonstrated here by Paula Patton and Ari Graynor. However, Cole de Pablo would probably benefit from unzipping hers. Note: You should only really zip up a leather jacket if you're on a motorcycle.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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Amy Adams, Alice Eve, and Kate Mara all work an LBD.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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Anna Kendrick looked sweet in her naked sparkles. I know that I should probably think that Hayden Panera Bread's ketchup and mustard look is gross but I can't help but love it because she comes across as an old time-y vampire's girlfriend with those sleeves. Quinn Morgendorffer (Daria's sister) once said in Fashion Club that chunky shoes make your legs look cuter, which might be what Rashida Jones is going for.

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wore a Freaking Bra to the Vanity Fair Party
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Maggie Grace's dress starts out interesting up top but quickly unravels into a metallic mess the further south you look. Talk about not dressing your age: Is Mary Elizabeth Winstead going for perimenopausal? And who knows what the fuck is going on with Tracee Elliis Ross? Is that a long skirt with a short dress with leggings with boots?

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Marcia Gay Harden's dress is weird in that from afar it looks like a really unflattering silhouette, but then you notice her boobs. While I respect Olivia Munn for not playing to her hotness all the time, this dress is kinda dumpy. And then there's Jess Weixler, who—right before she left her house—remembered that she's famous for her vagina and decided to cut out some of the fabric hiding it.

DISCUSSION

girlonfire

"Malin Ackerman's tramp stamp is just below her neck."

Wait, what?? So now any time a woman even has a tattoo it is a tramp stamp? The definition of a tramp stamp is a lower back tattoo. I disagree with its usage, but I disagree even more with the implication that a tramp stamp is any tattoo as long as it's on a woman.

Also, she looks amazing. The pattern on her dress is to die for.

I like my boobs, but I wish they had upward facing nipples like Emmy Rossum's (this is weird to say, but it's true). Mine look good now but because my nips are pretty much front and center they probably won't look good in a decade or two. I feel like boobs with upward pointing nips tend to look perkier and for a longer amount of time.

I don't know who Jenna Malone is but she looks exactly like Kristen Stewart.

Amy Adams looks like Kristen Wiig in that picture.

Rashida Jones is adorable.