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Nobody Wants Heterosexual Women to Propose Marriage (Including Heterosexual Women)

Illustration for article titled Nobody Wants Heterosexual Women to Propose Marriage (Including Heterosexual Women)

Turns out heterosexual couples crave rigid gender roles when it comes to marriage. In a study out of the super liberal UC Santa Cruz*, none (that's N-O-N-E) of the 277 heterosexual college students interviewed said they'd prefer marriage proposal in which the woman asked the man to marry her. Wow.

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Two-thirds of the students, both male and female, said they'd "definitely" want the man to propose marriage in their relationship. Only 2.8 percent of women said they'd "kind of" want to propose, but not one man (not ONE SINGLE MAN) indicated he'd prefer that arrangement.

What gives, heterosexuals? This "benevolent sexism" is a bit of a bummer, but not surprising. Heterosexual ladies, let's get out there and just start asking dudes to get married, it'll help us ease into it. "Hello Handsome Whole Foods Produce Guy, will you marry me?" And then present him with a non-hydrogenated vegan Funyon as a ring. True love!

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Point is, we need to get practicing.

Predictably, three-fifths of men said they would prefer to keep their name, and three-fifths of women said they were willing to change theirs. My boyfriend has a hyphenated last name and it's one of the things that attracted me to him. It wasn't like a deal maker/deal breaker, but I definitely thought it was cool that he came from a family where his mom's name was as important as his dad's. However, if we get married, does that mean we'll have a triple hyphenated name? Or should we just be super obnoxious and awesome and create our own new name? Beconnedden. It has a ring to it? (???)

Now, to get started on my proposal!

*Those hippies don't even give grades!

Is It OK For the Girl to Propose? No Way, Study Suggests [Live Science]

Image via ZINQ Stock / Shutterstock.

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DISCUSSION

LetsBeReasonable1
LetsBeReasonable1

Laura - why are your options triple hyphenated name or new name? Why not just have him take your name?

My partner and I are in a serious fight about this issue right now and it's really bumming me out. He's a forward thinking, feminist person in most instances, but when it comes to taking my name he says it feels emasculating. I said OK, don't take my name, but I want the kids to have my name - he protested. He has a hyphenated last name so hyphenation isn't an option for us. I feel so strongly about not taking his name that it's approaching deal-breaker level.

It really makes me sad to see my educated, succesful female friends rushing to take their husbands last name. The instant changing of their names on Facebook, the new email addresses, etc. It's clear other options were never even discussed, and it's just so antiquated to me. Not to mention that it's rooted in some truly problematic history - you took your husband's last name because you became his property. I don't get why this silly tradition isn't disappearing more quickly. Everyone should just default to the name they like better / sounds better, whether it's the man's or the woman's.