In this, the season of dicks, the internet won’t rest until it has imagined the measurements of every member that’s ever passed over a red carpet; all you can do if you have a famous dick is to pray that your colleagues and exes will be merciful enough to spare you from Andy Cohen til BDE blows over. Justin Timberlake was not so lucky.
Andy invited over Patricia Clarkson and Elizabeth Perkins to play “HOW BIG WAS IT?” a game which Andy invented because Elizabeth starred in a movie called “Big” in 1988, for Andy is thirsty.
So, Patricia: who had the BIGGEST chance of being your friends with benefits on the set of Friends With Benefits [a movie starring Justin Timberlake including a scene in which Patricia Clarkson walks in on him nude]:
“Hands down, Justin Timberlake. Cuz if we want to talk about big–”
“Wow, really?”
“Sorry Justin, oh God–”
“Is Justin…endowed well?”
“Well, he….yeah…I had the good fortune to see him all there…they were shooting a scene where they couldn’t keep anything on…”
“They couldn’t cover him!”
“Yes, he is a gorgeous man.”
“He’s gifted below the waist?”
“Oh yes.”
Given the length of the scene she’s referencing, it seems unlikely that a standard-issue penis sock was completely out of the question unless Justin was really committed to the integrity of the role.
Andy says it’s his best scoop ever.
Andy has been fed.
But he’ll never be finished.
Daddio stepped out.
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