Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

No One Needs to Online Date Their Coworkers in Slack

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Online dating is either “fun!” or a nightmare, depending on who you ask. Slack, a messaging platform that lots of tech and media companies use for jokes and feigning productivity, could be described in a similar fashion. What if the two combined?

Feeld, a dating app for “couples and singles,” is now offering Slack integration, which means you can enact your very own The Office fantasy from the comfort of a chat window, just like you’ve always wanted. Here’s how this potential H.R. violation works, via Mashable.

You tell the Feeld bot who your crush is, and if they feel the same way, it’ll tell you. Then you can start chatting, with the somewhat awkward knowledge that you both like each other enough to mention it to a bot.

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If there is any good or reassuring news about this new horror that the online dating landscape hath wrought, it is this: the app functions on mutual interest. It’s relatively low-stakes but also completely unnecessary. Who’s going to tell a freaking Slack bot that they like-like someone they work with and then just sit there and wait for that person to do the same? Is the fact that you guys both acknowledged that you have feelings for each other via a bot supposed to be some sort of ice breaker?

Feeld recognizes that this is potentially a disaster and has laid out some guidelines in their manifesto, calling them “common sense”—though I would argue that not messaging a bot about your work crush is the only bit of common sense you need. They emphasis consent twice, which is very considerate of them, but then present these two rules that should probably be closer to the top.

Be nice/don’t be a D

Always be mindful that these humans have feelings, fears, curiosities too. Respect those and don’t go beyond where you’re welcome. Working with someone can often make us feel extra close to that person, but that might not be the way they feel. Respect people’s choices.

Discrimination sucks (and is illegal)

Discrimination, intimidation, or marginalisation of any kind have no place in the Feeld community. Preserve the open, honest, respectful attitude in your actions.

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“Don’t be a D” is a rule that everyone should follow in life always, not just in strange and stilted interactions with a bot about your crush. Here’s another rule that I’d love for them to include, perhaps in the next update: Do not use this thing. Use anything else for finding love in this cold, cruel world instead.