It turns out we did get two valentines after all.
One from our sister.
And one from our niece.
If you think that's sad, head on over to fark.com, where they're swapping embarrassing valentines tales.
Our favorite after the jump.
Top this, if you can.
"My senior year in NJ, she was a stunning sophomore 6' tall, blonde hair Florida chic. 4 days before before Valentines Day I went out with a friend to buy weed, alcohol, and tickets to a concert for the double date weekend.
Got great thai stick. Real thai stick. Only problem there were plastic strings used to bundle it. Like the fake green "grass" in easter baskets. Testing the thai 3 day before V-day, and ended up smoking a piece of plastic. Wound up with 5 days of intense nose bleeds, had to get a blood transfusion, then had to have a 4 day hospital stay as doctors took cautering irons to the back of my throat and nasal passage to brand shut the gaping holes in my throat.
They then packed my nose with medical guass, and pumped me full of drugs.
Was nearly unconscious for 3 days, only thing i remember is stepping in a dying old man's diarrhea while trying to get to a bathroom, and a beautful polish nurse who shot me in the arse with drugs came by and just hugged me at one point.
Dying old man's liquid poo. That's totally poignant, somehow.