No One In Florida Masturbates NEVER

An inmate at a Florida prison was convicted of indecent exposure after a female corrections officer caught him masturbating in his cell. You know, because what's the fun of being a prison guard if nobody's getting prison raped?

UPDATE: We totally fucked up this item before. We are sorry. We suck today. Also: we hate the world, especially men, and in particular this guy, whose right to jerk off we were just defending until we read the story more thoroughly and decided he was a creepy perv who was probably trying to shoot it into the poor prison guard's eye. Yeah, we just CHANGED OUR MINDS. We're ladies. Fuck you.


We decided to keep yesterday's art because we have the maturity of a 12-year-old and we're not afraid to own up to that.

Inmate Found Guilty In Masturbation Trial [Miami Herald]
Related: Do You Love Your Neighbor As You're Loving Yourself?


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