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"HAZEL PARK, MI-In a statement made to reporters earlier this afternoon, local idiot Brandon Mylenek, 26, announced that at approximately 2:30 a.m. tonight, he plans to post an idiotic comment beneath a video on an Internet website." More hilarity here. [The Onion]


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@SisterMaryMartha: Don't you see she's trying to get OUT of the bag. Like, um, how us wimminz try and get out of the bag of oppreshun from the menz. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS?! Just bcuz her shoes are on wrong doesn't mean she can't walk OK? Don't you understand symbolism?! Probably not, yer just a stupid internetz person neway.